Wednesday, September 29, 2010

David picked up Dad tonight, so I haven't seen him since this morning. I was in the kitchen making coffee and Dad got up and walked in the kitchen, wet "depend" hanging. He said, "I need to pee, where's the bathroom?" I showed him the bathroom, for the zillionth time. I got him ready for the day easily. It amazes me how many people have dealt with or are dealing with loved ones who suffer from dementia. Recently, several people have asked me my advice on their personal situations. Every situation is personal, and different. People with dementia present in so many varied paths and progressions. How we respond to them is our part of being caregivers. I always tell people that I believe the most important thing is to keep our loved one safe, comfortable, and at ease. The safe part is fairly easy. I do try to stay organized. I have a schedule for getting Dad's medicines ready for the week (Sunday nights) and I can call in any refills I need. I make sure things are not in his path, so that he won't trip and fall. I hold his hand when he walks and help him get up from sitting. We keep things lit so he can easily see (unless I have to turn off the lights to keep him in bed!) I take him to all his doctor appointments. Keeping him comfortable is a little harder, but definitely doable. I ask myself, "if this were me, what would I want?" He has always liked a certain type of shirt- button down, collar over a t-shirt and certain type of pants- khaki type- with a belt. Despite his stage of dementia, Dad can button and unbutton with no problem and zip his pants and put on his belt. When he's going to be at home, I keep him in pajama bottoms and house shoes, because that is what I would want. I think keeping our loved ones at ease is the hardest part. At times Dad can be so pleasant and easy going and at other times, he just doesn't seem to know what he wants. He sometimes asks questions or gets concerned about something, and again, I just try to answer with something that makes him feel everything is okay. Why not? Dad lives in the moment and I want that moment to be the best it can be. Sure, I get frustrated. I forget things I should have done. Sometimes I just cry. But this is my time to give, my time to take care of my dad.....Susie