Friday, September 3, 2010

Van picked up Dad today. I spent a couple of hours with a friend of mine. When I got home, Dad was sitting at the bar reading the newspaper. I said, "Hello, Dad!" No response. I said it again. No response. He just kept reading. When he got to the end of the small article, he looked up and said "Hi". It's like he has the opposite of ADHD! He doesn't like changing his focus! I heated up leftover vegetables from last night and fed him dinner. He ate at the bar, while I fixed a pizza for me and Van. Then I took him to the bathroom to brush his teeth. It's cute how when he looks in the mirror, he smiles at himself and raises his triangle eyebrows. Then he glances over at me and smiles. I hope if I ever have Alzheimer's Disease, I can look in the mirror and smile at myself! He's in his chair now, dozing. As I was eating dinner, I noticed Dad moving his hand like he was working on something. He does that when he's dreaming. Zeb just called. He's going to be racing at Virginia Tech this weekend. He's on the Appalachian Cycling Team and loves it. I hate that Van and I are not able to see more of his races. I know Zeb wishes we could be there too, but he also understands that keeping Dad was a family commitment and it involves all of us. Sometimes people tell me, "You're a saint!" or "There will be rewards for you!". I don't believe that. I believe some people can be caretakers, and others can't. Yes, I have compassion. But so do most people. I think everyone's compassions can be expressed in different ways. All of the caretakers, no matter whether they are in homes, or in adult day care centers, or in nursing homes, have tremendous compassion. Their jobs are greatly underrated! People who have their loved ones in nursing homes are still caretakers. They may not deal with things 24/7, but neither do I. My hope is that we will all realize the care our aging need and all be willing to to be a part of reaching out to them. I know that sounds mushy, but I believe it! I think it must be very difficult for a spouse to take care of their mate. I think back about the times mom went through when she took care of dad. She dealt with him losing his license, not wanting to take a bath for a week, asking for 4 drinks of Old Grand Dad instead of his usual 2 (everyday), him being lost at sea, and on and on. (Later I'll be sharing some of those stories with you!) For me, Harold is my dad. He also, I believe, understands that I am taking care of him. He seems to help me, in any way he can. We have our moments, but mostly he is relatively easy to care for. For now I'll close..... Susie