Thursday, September 30, 2010

I picked up Dad at Life Care and we went to the high school to watch Simon's soccer game. Dad asked a couple of times where we were going and I told him Simon's soccer game. It was cool and cloudy and I had brought a coat for Dad. The first couple of times I asked him if he wanted to put it on, he said no. Then I saw him trying to cover up with it, so I helped him put on the coat. Then it started sprinkling on us and I went to the car to get an umbrella. Dad held the umbrella over himself and kept hitting me in the head with it and laughing. I had him seated as before, at the top of walkway that goes down the steps. At one point a pretty, young girl walked by Dad and he took his foot and gently tapped her on the bottom. She turned around and made light of it, being really friendly. As a matter of fact, she had been at student at Spindale Elementary, where I work, and recognized me and we spoke for a moment. I jokingly told her she had to watch out for Dad and when she walked by the next time, she was ready. At half time, I was passing out things to the parents and Dad got up and walked around and stood at the rail. When the game started back I got him back in his chair. He proceeded to count things such as the players on the field, the people sitting in front of him and the bulbs on the field lights. He asked several times what they were playing, but never realized we were there to watch Simon. He got up again and this time I walked with him around the bathrooms and concession stand. As we were walking, he put his hand through my arm and reached over and kissed me on the cheek, smiling. I decided he had had enough and we left the game about 15 minutes early. We came home and I got him dinner and did some work around the house. I just got him in bed and I'm ready to hit the sack myself........Susie

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

David picked up Dad tonight, so I haven't seen him since this morning. I was in the kitchen making coffee and Dad got up and walked in the kitchen, wet "depend" hanging. He said, "I need to pee, where's the bathroom?" I showed him the bathroom, for the zillionth time. I got him ready for the day easily. It amazes me how many people have dealt with or are dealing with loved ones who suffer from dementia. Recently, several people have asked me my advice on their personal situations. Every situation is personal, and different. People with dementia present in so many varied paths and progressions. How we respond to them is our part of being caregivers. I always tell people that I believe the most important thing is to keep our loved one safe, comfortable, and at ease. The safe part is fairly easy. I do try to stay organized. I have a schedule for getting Dad's medicines ready for the week (Sunday nights) and I can call in any refills I need. I make sure things are not in his path, so that he won't trip and fall. I hold his hand when he walks and help him get up from sitting. We keep things lit so he can easily see (unless I have to turn off the lights to keep him in bed!) I take him to all his doctor appointments. Keeping him comfortable is a little harder, but definitely doable. I ask myself, "if this were me, what would I want?" He has always liked a certain type of shirt- button down, collar over a t-shirt and certain type of pants- khaki type- with a belt. Despite his stage of dementia, Dad can button and unbutton with no problem and zip his pants and put on his belt. When he's going to be at home, I keep him in pajama bottoms and house shoes, because that is what I would want. I think keeping our loved ones at ease is the hardest part. At times Dad can be so pleasant and easy going and at other times, he just doesn't seem to know what he wants. He sometimes asks questions or gets concerned about something, and again, I just try to answer with something that makes him feel everything is okay. Why not? Dad lives in the moment and I want that moment to be the best it can be. Sure, I get frustrated. I forget things I should have done. Sometimes I just cry. But this is my time to give, my time to take care of my dad.....Susie

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Peter kept Dad tonight and brought him to Legal Grounds, where I had finished having dinner with friends. On the way home, Dad was sort of whispering something over and over, like "shwus, shwus, shwus." I was talking on the phone and said, "335." Then Dad repeated over and over "335...335...335." Sometimes I wonder about his word repetitions. I think with dementia, it is one way someone can hang on to the present and maybe be a part of their surroundings. He didn't say another thing the entire ride, not even when we saw a police with a flashing blue light at the Hudlow/64 intersection. When we got home, Dad sat at the bar while I made sandwiches for the soccer team. He watched my every move as I spread mayo and mustard and put on turkey and then as I made egg salad and spread it on the sandwiches. He didn't say a word. He didn't even ask what I was doing and I made 30 sandwiches. Although he did look at me, raise his eyebrows, and smile. After I finished, he started looking at his books. When I got the kitchen cleaned, I took him to the bathroom and then got him ready for bed. He's behind me over here, doing that same whispering of the same thing over and over. I hope he sleeps well tonight. He was really active last night. He would sit at the bar, then get up and walk back toward the bedroom, then sit in his recliner, then get up and go to the bathroom, then sit at the bar, etc. He got up at midnight and I got him back in bed. Then I got up at 3 to check on him and change him. Good night.......Susie

Monday, September 27, 2010

Simon's soccer game got rained out today. I picked up Dad at Life Care. This was our conversation:

Me: Hey Daddy!

Dad: Hello!

Me: Are you ready to go?

Dad: Yea

Me: Let's go!

Dad: Wait just a minute.

Me: We need to go. We're blocking someone in.

Dad: Okay

Me: Tell everyone bye.

Dad: Bye

Dad: Is this your car?

Me: Yea, get in.

Dad: Get in here?

Me: Yea, get in and put your seatbelt on.

Dad: Where are we going?

Me: Home

Dad: Home. Home.

Dad: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.........28, 29 (He was counting the houses on Spindale Street.)

Me: What are you counting?

Dad: Oh... the roads.

Dad: Where are we going, home?

Me: Yep, we're almost there.

Dad: What road is this?

Me: Whitesides Road

Dad: Where are we going?

Me: Home. We're about to turn on Hudlow Road.

Dad: It's okay on the right. You got one coming.

Me: We're home! Let's get out.

Dad: You want me to get out?

Me: Yep, let's go in and cook dinner.

Dad gets out and hocks and spits all the way to the door. Thank heavens he doesn't spit inside except on his plate, in the sink, and in the toilet! Have a good evening!!! Susie

Sunday, September 26, 2010

It's been quite an eventful weekend for me. On Friday night, David picked up Dad and took him to hang out with some of his friends. I got together with some girlfriends for a little cover dish dinner. We had a great time. I got home just after David brought Dad home. Van and his friend Ben were here. Unfortunately, by about 10:00, I had a migraine headache. I got Dad in bed and then went to bed myself. We got up early Saturday to head for Boone to see Zeb's mountain bike races at App this weekend. Our sitter came and stayed with Dad all day Saturday, Saturday night and most of today. We had never seen the mountain bike races and they were pretty awesome. Zeb did great both days. Today he took 3rd in the cross-country race, which was three 7 mile loops through the woods at Beech Mountain. We got home about 3:00 and Dad was snoozing in his recliner. Simon laid on the couch and I laid on my bed and slept until 6:00. I really needed the sleep. Van cooked supper and when I gave Dad his plate, he said as he sometimes does, "Is this mine?" After he ate I got him up to go to the bathroom to clean his teeth. I had him take out both sets of dentures and I cleaned them with his toothbrush. When I handed him back his dentures, he said, "Are these mine?" You gotta laugh...... Susie

Me and Dad on his 88th birthday

Betsy and Simon with Dad on his birthday

Thursday, September 23, 2010

When I picked up Dad from Life Care this afternoon, the nurse told me his blood sugar had been low. It usually runs around 130-150 during the day and as high as 200 at night. It had gotten down in the 80's. She had given him peanut butter crackers. They also told me he had been acting like his blood sugar was low, talking nonsense and such. When I opened the car door for Dad to get in, he just stood there like he didn't know what to do. I said, "Get in the car". He said, "Get in the car?" I said, "Yea, get in so we can go home." Of course as soon as I got in, he said, "Where are we going?" On the ride home, Dad didn't read any signs or give me any directions. I've mentioned how he has read signs. He also likes to give directions such as "You're okay on the right" or "There's a car coming on the left" or "There's a red light up ahead". He has even said things like, "Susie, I believe you're driving too fast for conditions." It's hilarious. Anyway, Dad fell asleep just as we were pulling in the driveway. We came in and I had him sit in his recliner and I relaxed on the couch. I took his blood sugar again and it was 138. Better. I fed him dinner and he sat at the bar, looking at the newspaper and his math cards for about an hour. He's now back in his recliner and I'm about to get him ready for bed because I have a terrible headache! Susie

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Simon had a soccer game tonight. My brother David was sick, so I took Dad to the game. Van picked him up at LifeCare and then I gave him dinner and changed him before we left. I took a chair for him to sit in because the stadium seats are so hard and don't have a back. He sat at the walkway, a little behind me. He just sat there and really enjoyed watching the people and some of the game. He asked several times what the boys were doing and I told him they were playing soccer. He counted the bulbs in the stadium lights when they came on. There are sixteen. He did really great and laughed at me when I yelled. After the game, we headed home. The full moon was orange and the sky was pink where the sun had set. I decided to drive the back way home so I could enjoy the moon over the mountains and around the corners. Dad asked where we were going. I said, "We're driving the back way home." He repeated, "We're driving the back way home" over and over. He stopped for a minute and then said, "I'm driving the back way home". Then he repeated, "the back way home... the back way home....". I could tell during the ride that I was going to have to change Dad when we got home. I brought him in and told him to go in the bathroom because I needed to check his pants. Sure enough. I had him sit on the toilet and I got his pajama pants, wipes and a new depend. When I asked him if he was finished, he said "Not yet" (as usual). I rolled off toilet paper and he wiped two times. I flushed and gave him two more strips of toilet paper. He rolls the strips very carefully, just the way he wants them. I changed him while he was sitting on the toilet. I had already taken off his pants and depend. Then I had him step into a new depend and his pajama bottoms. I switched his shoes for his house shoes, because you know how he is about his shoes!! Tonight he said, "Give me my shoes". Then I have him stand up and we make sure he's clean. I put him in his chair and he fell right off to sleep. I think the game wore him out! Susie

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

This past week a dear friend of ours died. He died suddenly of a heart attack. Isn't it mind boggling to think about how, why and when we will leave this earth? Here is my dad, dying slowly from Alzheimer's disease. Each day I see signs of decline and looming death. Yet, I might not be here tomorrow and he may be here ten years from now. I think I've said before that even though Dad's memory is gone, I do believe he knows, in some deep place, that he needs to be cared for. In every way he can, he allows me to help him and he helps me in helping him. There are times when he just can't, for one reason or another, but we get through those times. I've also said before that I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful father- and in the midst of dementia, his bubbly personality still comes through! Thank you Lord.

Death swoops in upon us

Baby, teenager, mother, grandfather knows no excuse

Slow agonizing pain waits for the final hour

Or gone without goodbyes to meet our maker

Susie

Monday, September 20, 2010

I haven't spent much time with Dad today. I got him up at 6:40 this morning and then left for work at 7:00 as usual. Simon had a soccer game tonight, so our wonderful sitter kept him until we got home. When I got up during the night last night to change him, I thought about how easy it has been lately to do the night time change. I don't set my alarm, but I guess it's my internal clock that gets me up, usually around 2:00am. I walk in to his room and turn on the light. I gently rub his leg and say "Dad, we need to change your pants". I let him wake up for a second and then I pull the covers back and push his legs toward the floor. Then I say, "Stand up for me." He'll say, "Stand up?" and I'll answer, "Yea, we need to change your pants." "Now take off your underpants" He'll say, "Take these off?" and I'll say "Yea." He'll pull them off and then I'll say, "Now, take off your t-shirt." I have wipes, clean t-shirt and a depend ready, as well as a new pad for the bed. I lay the t-shirt, which is usually wet at the bottom, on the pad and then quickly pull it out and replace a new pad before he sits back down. Then we put on his clean t-shirt and depend. And I tell him he can lay back down. He goes right back to sleep and most of the time I do too. It probably only takes 4 or 5 minutes and lately we've seemed to be in sync with no issues - thank heavens! It's time for bed..... Susie

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Dad got up about 8 this morning. I cooked him bacon and eggs for breakfast. Afterwards, he sat at the bar while I cleaned up the kitchen. Then I took him outside to sit on his swing and read the paper while I cleaned the house. Dad pays for someone to clean our house once a week, but she was on vacation this last week, so I had lots to do. After I finished, I brought Dad in. I took him in the bathroom and got him in front of the toilet. I left for a minute, and when I returned, he had peed all over the toilet and on the floor all around the toilet, and on his house shoes and pants. My clean toilet! I don't know what got him distracted. I took the opportunity to put him in the shower. We were invited to a birthday party and I wanted him to shower anyway. He did pretty good getting in. I told him he needed to "wash off" and he cooperated. He doesn't like it when I turn the shower on, and today he said, "It's hot! It's hot!" Of course, I had checked it, but he really is sensitive to the temperature of water, so I cooled it off. I washed his hair and had him use the soap to wash all his parts. I helped him get out, dry off and get dressed. Then we went to his bathroom to have him brush his hair and shave. I got him in his chair and re-cleaned his bathroom. Then I jumped in the shower. I don't really worry much about Dad for a short time, especially if he's in his chair. I'm certain he wouldn't wander off because he just doesn't like getting up and going places! I do check on him as soon as I get out of the shower. We left to go to the party. It was my friend, Patti's dad's birthday. He turned 84 today. We sat in his back yard with family and friends and ate barbecue. As soon as Dad ate, I got him up and took him inside to the bathroom. I knew his next action would have been to spit and then take out his teeth and suck the food off. We washed his teeth off in the bathroom and then he wanted to swing on the screened porch. After a while he sat with us as we all talked. He seemed to enjoy being around everyone and seeing everyone laugh. I just fed him dinner and got him in his pajamas. I'm going to kick back and watch a movie........ Susie

Friday, September 17, 2010

Van picked up Dad this afternoon. I had a hair appointment and got home about 6:15. I sat with Dad and watched the news. I fixed the last of the leftovers for his dinner. I had to wake him up to eat. I walked him to the bathroom and had him try to pee and wash his hands. If I ask him if he needs to pee, he usually says no, but if I have him get in front of the toilet and try, he goes about half the time. After he ate I said, "We're going to drive down to the pond." He said, "Am I going?" I got him up and we walked out to the car. When we got to the pond, Van was working in the creek, trying to fix the water that comes in to the pond. Dad and I sat in the love seat under the umbrella. As we were talking, I decided to write our conversation as Dad was really alert this afternoon. This is how it went:

Dad: You got a big swimming hole here.

Me: Yep, it's really nice.

Dad: It sure is a blue sky day. What day is it?

Me: Friday, September 17th What was yesterday?

Dad: September 16th.

Me: What day is that?

Dad: I don't know

Me: It was your birthday! How old are you?

Dad: Thirteen HaHaHa! How old am I?

Me: You're 88.

Dad: Oh Lord, I ain't here much longer am I?

Me: You'll probably live forever!

Dad: Yonder's the moon. Is it a blue sky day?

Me: It's a little overcast.

Dad: There's the ole moon up yonder.

Me: Who was your mother?

Dad: Odessa

Me: What was mom's name?

Dad: I don't remember.

Me: Ann Buchanan Lane

Dad: kept repeating Ann Buchanan Lane... Ann Buchanan Lane...

Me: What did you call her?

Dad: I don't remember.

Me: When you were mad you called her Buchanan, but mostly you called her Annie B

(He laughed heartily, deep from his gut)

Dad: Is it a cloudy day?

Me: It's just overcast.

Dad: Yonder's the sun shining through the trees. Where are we?

Me: We're at the pond.

Dad: Where's that?

Me: At mine and Van's house.

Dad: Where's the house?

Me: At the top of the hill.

Dad: twenty-five minutes till eight There's the ole moon shining up through there. What's the date?

Me: September 17th

Dad: September 16th was my birthday.

Me: Yeah, you remember the party at LifeCare and at Scoggins last night... Phillip was there.....

Dad: Oh yeah, yeah.... (and he patted my knee) There's the moon up yonder. It's a beautiful blue sky day......

Susie

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Happy Birthday Dad!! Today is my dad's 88th birthday! I think he had a really good day. This morning, he had a doctor's appointment with Jane Kirkpatrick. She's great and so is her nurse, Rhonda. While we were waiting out in the waiting area, Dad was again counting people. At one point he kept counting and was almost up to 100. He also counted the fluorescent lights. In the exam room, Dad picked up the otoscope and he put it in each of his ears and then looked at me with a look like "oh my goodness". It was the same kind of look he would have given a child back when he practiced medicine, like "there's something in there that shouldn't be!" jokingly, of course. We needed to get a urine specimen so I took Dad in to the bathroom. I told him to pee in the cup and he would hold it, then put it on the back of the toilet. I would tell him again and he would do the same thing. One time, after I told him to try again, he grunted like he was really trying to pee, then he laughed and put the cup back on the toilet. We were not successful. After we left, I took Dad to LifeCare and then went to pick up a birthday cake at BiLo. I took the cake back to LifeCare for their birthday party. They had a crown and a Happy Birthday tag on Dad and made a big deal out of his special day. They were able to get the urine specimen for me during the day, so I took it by the doctor's office when I picked Dad up. Tonight, the family met at Scoggins to eat. My cousin Phillip and his wife Kathy came from Asheville. My friend Tammy, her husband Tim, and their grandchildren also joined us. Peter and his boys were there, Betsy and Grant, and Van, Simon and I. We had a great celebration and Dad really enjoyed it. Whenever anyone asked how old he was, he said 39. I took some pictures that I will try to post this weekend. Dad is now relaxing in his recliner in his pajamas but I'm almost ready to get him in the bed. It's been a long day for both of us! Susie

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I left work at 1:30 today to take Dad to the eye doctor. I thought he had some minor surgery scheduled for his eye, but it turned out to be his pre-op appointment. When we got in the car he asked, "Where are we going?" I told him to the eye doctor. He asked why. I told him the doctor needed to check his eye. He asked "Which one?" I pointed to his right eye and he said, "the right one". Then he said, "Lordy, Lordy, Land Lordy", which is a saying he says. When we got in the doctor's office, he asked, "Where are we?" several times. Once when I told him we were at the eye doctor and he was going to check his eye, Dad looked at me and winked his eyes alternately several times and then laughed. He said, "What is it about my eye?" Then he counted people in the waiting room over and over. There were six. Once he looked over and asked me when I got married and who I married. Then he said, "We had married....." he trailed off and fell asleep mid sentence. He did great in the examination room. He counted things and then slept while I gave his medical history. Then we waited to get the appointment for surgery. He read through the books of the Bible twice and then fell asleep again. After we got home, we both laid down for a rest. He has gotten up at 4:30 the past two mornings several times each morning and I haven't been able to go back to sleep. He also hasn't wanted to get up at 6:45 when I get him up so both mornings I got him changed and dressed and he got back in the bed. Then Van got him up and took him to LifeCare. I've got to get his supper ready....... Susie

September 12, 2010

Daddy got up early again this morning. I changed him and made his breakfast. He sat at the bar and read the paper and I got to lay back down. It was a beautiful day and he spent some time outside on his swing, looking at the paper. After lunch I needed to get him in the shower. I had him go to his bathroom and try to pee and he did a little. Then I had him follow me to my bathroom. I ask him to undress, piece at a time. When we got down to his depend, I asked him to take it off and just as he did, he started peeing. I told him to pull it up and step in to the bathtub. He did and that helped because then I had him in the tub. He finished peeing down the drain and I told him we needed to wash it down. I started the water and then turned on the shower. At first he said, "Ohhhhhhhh", but then he got use to it and he was okay with it. I have to tell him to wash all his parts. I wash his hair, which he doesn't like, but I just keep telling him what I need him to do and we get it done. Daddy's really funny about his feet. He hates to have his socks off and he hates to walk on bare feet. When I'm dressing him, the last thing we put on is his socks and shoes. I have him sit on the toilet seat. He will step from mat to mat and not let his feet touch the floor. It's hilarious. After he brushed his hair and shaved, I had him sit at the bar. Starting in July, Simon and I have had Dad sign his name, draw a man for us, spell words, and work some math problems. Dad usually draws a man with his body facing front, but his head turned in a profile. The last two times, the face has been facing forward. I have to prompt him to draw a body, hands and feet. He often draws shoes that look like a heeled boot. Today I had him spell fourteen words and he spelled thirteen correct: rock, North Carolina, school, Rutherfordton, newspaper, television, chemistry, pediatrician, Mississippi, motorcycle, hospital, aspirin, and orange. He spelled academic, acidemic. He correctly did 5/8 addition problems, 5/5 multiplication problems and 5/5 subtraction problems. He seems to enjoy doing tasks like that. Betsy kept Dad tonight while Van and I went with his family to take his mom out for her birthday. We had a great time. We just got home and I'll be getting Dad in bed soon. Dad's 88th birthday is Thursday, so we'll be celebrating that!! Susie

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Today has been a pretty relaxing day. It's been rainy on and off. Dad got up this morning about 7:15. I got him changed, gave him his medicine and made his breakfast. Then Van got up and I went back to bed. That was wonderful. I slept until 9:30. I got some chores done around the house and Dad spent some time at the bar and in his recliner. We watched Food Network and then started watching Spiderman 3. I decided to have a cup of hot tea. As I was in the kitchen making it, I noticed Dad had gotten up and was standing in front of the fireplace. Then I realized he was standing there peeing on the floor. I ran over to him and said, "Wait, wait, let's get in the bathroom!". Dad said, "I can't wait!" and I said "Yes, you can!" and proceeded to get him to the bathroom, only ten feet away. Well, he finished peeing and I cleaned up the floor. My, my. After Spiderman, I started grilling us hamburgers and made homemade french fries. Just as I was about to make our plates, I realized Dad needed to be changed. I kept everything warm in the oven while he sat on the potty and we got him cleaned and changed. Then we ate dinner. Tammy joined us and after dinner Dad was really verbal. He began by saying, "Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen." I asked if he wanted to say the Lord's Prayer and he said he did. He says it beautifully and at the end he always says "forever and ever and ever and ever.... Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen...." He did it the same as always. For some reason he called me "Ann" (mom's name) three times tonight. He doesn't do that often. He kept asking questions and Tammy and I were cracking up. He asked about my "fellow" and when I was going to get "started" - with what- we could never figure out. When Dad seems concerned about something and it doesn't make sense, I just answer with a response that assures him everything is alright. That seems to make him feel better and he says something like "good, very good". I'll be getting him in bed in about 30 minutes. Hopefully, he'll sleep through the night. He got up a couple of times last night, but again, I turned off the lights and he stayed in bed. Maybe we'll have a pretty day tomorrow and Dad can spend some time outside..... Susie

Friday, September 10, 2010

I just got home from picking up Dad at LifeCare. There was a client there today who displayed some hostile behaviors toward a worker. It made me realize how blessed I am that Dad has such a pleasant disposition. On the way home, Dad said, "Where are we going?" I said, "home - Hudlow Road". He waited about 10 seconds and then said, "home, home, Hudlow Road". Then he looked over at me and said, "Where are we going?". He also read signs today. When he first moved in with us, he read every sign we passed by. He would read road signs, store signs, speed limit signs and advertisements. It was so funny that when he read the Denny's sign that only said "Denny's" he would add, "Grand Slam". Over the months, Dad has read the signs less and less and sometimes not at all. But today, he read almost every sign we came by until we got to highway 64. He is now sitting at the bar, looking at his books and cards. I'll be fixing his dinner, then Van and Simon are going to stay with him while I go to a baby shower. I'll be home in time to get him in bed. Hopefully we can all sleep in tomorrow morning! Susie

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Zeb came home from App State to get his car worked on yesterday. David picked up Dad and brought him home around 9. I cooked dinner for Zeb and we invited my friend, Tammy, and Van's mother( that Zeb calls Granny) over to eat with us. Since I didn't get to blog yesterday, I wanted to tell about Tuesday night. I got up at the usual 2:30 to change Dad. This week he has been great about letting me change him. Every night I've gone in and woke him up and said, "Dad, we need to change you. Stand up for me." Every night, he has done so without complaining or being resistant. It only took a few minutes. I love it! On Tuesday night, after I changed Dad and laid back down, I almost drifted off to sleep and I heard him get up. I got up and he was heading toward the bathroom. He went to the sink and hocked and spit, but did not use the bathroom. I got him back in the bed. I went back to bed and in just a few minutes, I heard him get up again. Same thing happened. Back to the bathroom he went to hock and spit, but didn't use the bathroom. I got him back in bed again. Guess what? I just about got to sleep and here he goes again. I have always kept his bathroom light on and a night light in the kitchen and a night light at the bottom of the basement steps and a night light upstairs. Well, I thought - he will keep doing this! I've been there before. So, I closed the basement door and turned off all the lights, except for the upstairs night light. That did it. I listened for a long time and he never got back up! Thank heavens! Simon has a soccer game tonight, so our helper will be picking Dad up at LifeCare and keeping him until we get home. I have leftovers in the frig for them. Susie

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Peter picked up Dad today. I met some girls at Mudbones to celebrate a birthday and eat the delicious low country boil. After we got our dinner, Peter and Dad walked in. Van had joined me and the ladies and when Dad walked by us, he said, "Hey Susie, hey Van". Several people commented on how good Dad looked. He did. He had gotten his shower and shave at LifeCare. He had on his light khaki pants and a blue and white plaid shirt. The funny thing was that Peter was dressed just about like him! Sitting there watching Dad eat with Peter made me realize how "normal" Dad looks. No one would imagine how little Dad can actually do. He responded pleasantly to those who spoke to him. He usually says, "Hey there! How are you? You sure are looking good!" If someone comments beyond about three, Dad will say "Okay, Okay" like, "I'm ready to move on!" Dad rode home with me. As we were getting in the car, Dad asked, "What causes this light to come on?" (The inside car light) He doesn't usually comment or question like that much more. On our way, he only asked twice where we were going. He's sitting at the bar right now and I'm about to get him ready for bed. I want to mention a conversation I had with someone at Mudbones. She was someone I have known forever. Her children and my older brother and sister were friends. She knew my parents well. She is now taking care of her husband. LifeCare Adult Day Care has been such a wonderful place for us. I hope all the caretakers out there find something like a day care, or in home sitters, or some way to take a break. I wish so much my mom had taken advantage of LifeCare. She really needed the break and I believe the biggest reason she didn't is because she would have felt that she failed in some way. I know many don't particularly like the idea of that, but I can tell you it is my Dad's second home. The people there love him. He can eat breakfast and lunch, play games, make crafts, interact with others, walk out in the garden, sit in the sun room, get a bath! He's been going there for about 2 1/2 years and I am so thankful for it! Susie

Monday, September 6, 2010

After I finished my blog on Saturday, Dad used the bathroom again. This time I needed to get him in the shower. Upon my request, he followed me to our bathroom. I asked him, piece at a time, to undress. I would say, "Take off your shirt." He would reply, "Take off my shirt?" "Yep." I physically have to help him with his pants. When I got him undressed, I told him to step in to the shower. He did with my help. As I started to turn the water on, he shouted "No!" and moved my hand away. He kept shouting "No!" and moving my hand. Simon came in and tried to help. Dad was like a child, not wanting his bath. He acted as if he was going to cry. I persuaded him to let me turn the water on so he could wet his rag and wash his bottom off. He finally let me. Then I told him to stand back so I could turn the shower on. He didn't like it at first, but when he got use to it, he went about washing himself and actually stayed in for about 10 minutes. I said earlier that Dad is often fairly easy to care for, but more and more he is becoming resistant to certain tasks. After his shower on Saturday we went down to the pond. Dad enjoyed sitting and watching everyone fish. Instead of asking how deep the pond is, he now counts people. He will count everyone over and over. If I'm across the pond and wave at him, he'll smile and wave back. We also spent time at the pond yesterday afternoon. As Dad and I were sitting on the dock, he did something he hadn't done in a while. When we were growing up, Dad would always reach over and use the side of his hand to check our knee reflex. He did that to me yesterday and laughed. The other thing Dad does over and over at the pond is spit. He spits and spits and spits. I gave him a fishing rod after I cast it, and he reeled it in. Every time I cast it, he would reel it in, over and over. He did catch a fish one time! When I got him ready for bed last night, he didn't want to change his Depend. He said, "No, I'm okay. I'm okay." After insisting several times and not letting him lay down, he finally let me change him. Today has been a lazy day. Simon stayed with Dad while I ran some errands. Dad spent time at the bar, outside on his swing and sleeping in his recliner. I have ribs on the grill so I better run! Happy Labor Day!! Susie

Saturday, September 4, 2010

It's Saturday afternoon and I haven't stopped all day. Dad got up at 7:45 this morning. Van and Simon left at that time to take the little stray dog, who has taken up with us, to the vet. She's cute as pie and has won all of our hearts over. Simon named her Hope. He secretly fed her at the barn for a couple of weeks and I guess that made her ours! I made bacon, eggs and biscuits for breakfast, which Dad loves. When I put the plate down in front of him, he said, "Oh, that looks good! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" After breakfast, Dad read the paper and watched me clean the kitchen. I also washed 4 loads of clothes and hung them on the line, made Dad's bed, paid bills, cleaned Dad's bathroom, and got things ready for tonight. Van's family is coming out for dinner, but everyone's bringing something. Before lunch, I had Dad go outside and sit in his swing with the paper. It is such a beautiful day today. These crisp, cool mornings get me excited about Fall! When I brought Dad in for lunch, I could tell he needed to go to the bathroom. I asked him to sit on the toilet. He said "Why?". I said "You have a dirty Depend." He said, "No I don't." I said, "Sit down on the toilet and let me show you." When he sat down and saw his Depend, he said, "Oooh". I let him sit on the toilet for a while. Usually when I ask him if he's finished, he'll say no. I put out two strips of toilet paper and have him wipe himself. Then I flush the toilet and put out two more. He will wipe again. When he's finished, I have him stand up and I make sure he's clean by using a disposable wipe. If it's real bad, I put him in the shower. Today, a couple of wipes did the trick. We have learned that we cannot leave toilet tissue in the bathroom. Dad will wipe and then forget he's wiped, and wipe again and again. Then he flushes and clogs up the toilet. After lunch, I had him sit back in his recliner. When everyone gets here around 4:00, we'll be going down to the pond and he'll be up all evening. Better go get a few more things done... Susie

Friday, September 3, 2010

Van picked up Dad today. I spent a couple of hours with a friend of mine. When I got home, Dad was sitting at the bar reading the newspaper. I said, "Hello, Dad!" No response. I said it again. No response. He just kept reading. When he got to the end of the small article, he looked up and said "Hi". It's like he has the opposite of ADHD! He doesn't like changing his focus! I heated up leftover vegetables from last night and fed him dinner. He ate at the bar, while I fixed a pizza for me and Van. Then I took him to the bathroom to brush his teeth. It's cute how when he looks in the mirror, he smiles at himself and raises his triangle eyebrows. Then he glances over at me and smiles. I hope if I ever have Alzheimer's Disease, I can look in the mirror and smile at myself! He's in his chair now, dozing. As I was eating dinner, I noticed Dad moving his hand like he was working on something. He does that when he's dreaming. Zeb just called. He's going to be racing at Virginia Tech this weekend. He's on the Appalachian Cycling Team and loves it. I hate that Van and I are not able to see more of his races. I know Zeb wishes we could be there too, but he also understands that keeping Dad was a family commitment and it involves all of us. Sometimes people tell me, "You're a saint!" or "There will be rewards for you!". I don't believe that. I believe some people can be caretakers, and others can't. Yes, I have compassion. But so do most people. I think everyone's compassions can be expressed in different ways. All of the caretakers, no matter whether they are in homes, or in adult day care centers, or in nursing homes, have tremendous compassion. Their jobs are greatly underrated! People who have their loved ones in nursing homes are still caretakers. They may not deal with things 24/7, but neither do I. My hope is that we will all realize the care our aging need and all be willing to to be a part of reaching out to them. I know that sounds mushy, but I believe it! I think it must be very difficult for a spouse to take care of their mate. I think back about the times mom went through when she took care of dad. She dealt with him losing his license, not wanting to take a bath for a week, asking for 4 drinks of Old Grand Dad instead of his usual 2 (everyday), him being lost at sea, and on and on. (Later I'll be sharing some of those stories with you!) For me, Harold is my dad. He also, I believe, understands that I am taking care of him. He seems to help me, in any way he can. We have our moments, but mostly he is relatively easy to care for. For now I'll close..... Susie

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I was so tired today that I came home from work and took about a 45 minute nap before I picked Dad up at LifeCare. On the way home from LifeCare, Dad asked three times, "Where are we going?" I thought back about how he use to ask that question at least twice that many times. When we got home, I started cooking supper and I put Dad to work stringing and snapping green beans. He's great at that. It's a task he will start and not stop until it's complete. Dad really likes to watch me cook. He will look intently as I chop vegetables or combine ingredients. Then he will smile at me and say "Very good, very good". Before dinner, I told Dad I was going to check his blood sugar. He stuck his finger out and kept it there until I went into his room, got the tester and returned to the kitchen. It was strange tonight, because after I pricked his finger and got the drop of blood, I gave him a tissue as usual. When I looked over I noticed he was pushing blood out of his finger and wiping it on the tissue over and over. I've never seen him do that before. I told him to go to the bathroom and wash his hands for dinner. I checked to make sure he did and when he came out of the bathroom he proceeded toward the kitchen. I said "Sit at the table." He kept walking toward me. I said several times, "Dad go sit at the table." He never did until I showed him where to sit. Just the two of us ate dinner together because Van was at the garden and Simon was at a volleyball game. After dinner, I had him get up and clean and brush his teeth. We watched Jeopardy together. He use to read some of the answers, but read only a couple tonight. He's now sitting in his chair watching football. I'll get him in bed about 9:30 tonight so I can get a good night sleep. It's been a long week and I'm still getting use to my school work schedule after our summer break! I'm looking forward to a relaxing Labor Day weekend..... Susie