Thursday, September 9, 2010

Zeb came home from App State to get his car worked on yesterday. David picked up Dad and brought him home around 9. I cooked dinner for Zeb and we invited my friend, Tammy, and Van's mother( that Zeb calls Granny) over to eat with us. Since I didn't get to blog yesterday, I wanted to tell about Tuesday night. I got up at the usual 2:30 to change Dad. This week he has been great about letting me change him. Every night I've gone in and woke him up and said, "Dad, we need to change you. Stand up for me." Every night, he has done so without complaining or being resistant. It only took a few minutes. I love it! On Tuesday night, after I changed Dad and laid back down, I almost drifted off to sleep and I heard him get up. I got up and he was heading toward the bathroom. He went to the sink and hocked and spit, but did not use the bathroom. I got him back in the bed. I went back to bed and in just a few minutes, I heard him get up again. Same thing happened. Back to the bathroom he went to hock and spit, but didn't use the bathroom. I got him back in bed again. Guess what? I just about got to sleep and here he goes again. I have always kept his bathroom light on and a night light in the kitchen and a night light at the bottom of the basement steps and a night light upstairs. Well, I thought - he will keep doing this! I've been there before. So, I closed the basement door and turned off all the lights, except for the upstairs night light. That did it. I listened for a long time and he never got back up! Thank heavens! Simon has a soccer game tonight, so our helper will be picking Dad up at LifeCare and keeping him until we get home. I have leftovers in the frig for them. Susie

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Peter picked up Dad today. I met some girls at Mudbones to celebrate a birthday and eat the delicious low country boil. After we got our dinner, Peter and Dad walked in. Van had joined me and the ladies and when Dad walked by us, he said, "Hey Susie, hey Van". Several people commented on how good Dad looked. He did. He had gotten his shower and shave at LifeCare. He had on his light khaki pants and a blue and white plaid shirt. The funny thing was that Peter was dressed just about like him! Sitting there watching Dad eat with Peter made me realize how "normal" Dad looks. No one would imagine how little Dad can actually do. He responded pleasantly to those who spoke to him. He usually says, "Hey there! How are you? You sure are looking good!" If someone comments beyond about three, Dad will say "Okay, Okay" like, "I'm ready to move on!" Dad rode home with me. As we were getting in the car, Dad asked, "What causes this light to come on?" (The inside car light) He doesn't usually comment or question like that much more. On our way, he only asked twice where we were going. He's sitting at the bar right now and I'm about to get him ready for bed. I want to mention a conversation I had with someone at Mudbones. She was someone I have known forever. Her children and my older brother and sister were friends. She knew my parents well. She is now taking care of her husband. LifeCare Adult Day Care has been such a wonderful place for us. I hope all the caretakers out there find something like a day care, or in home sitters, or some way to take a break. I wish so much my mom had taken advantage of LifeCare. She really needed the break and I believe the biggest reason she didn't is because she would have felt that she failed in some way. I know many don't particularly like the idea of that, but I can tell you it is my Dad's second home. The people there love him. He can eat breakfast and lunch, play games, make crafts, interact with others, walk out in the garden, sit in the sun room, get a bath! He's been going there for about 2 1/2 years and I am so thankful for it! Susie

Monday, September 6, 2010

After I finished my blog on Saturday, Dad used the bathroom again. This time I needed to get him in the shower. Upon my request, he followed me to our bathroom. I asked him, piece at a time, to undress. I would say, "Take off your shirt." He would reply, "Take off my shirt?" "Yep." I physically have to help him with his pants. When I got him undressed, I told him to step in to the shower. He did with my help. As I started to turn the water on, he shouted "No!" and moved my hand away. He kept shouting "No!" and moving my hand. Simon came in and tried to help. Dad was like a child, not wanting his bath. He acted as if he was going to cry. I persuaded him to let me turn the water on so he could wet his rag and wash his bottom off. He finally let me. Then I told him to stand back so I could turn the shower on. He didn't like it at first, but when he got use to it, he went about washing himself and actually stayed in for about 10 minutes. I said earlier that Dad is often fairly easy to care for, but more and more he is becoming resistant to certain tasks. After his shower on Saturday we went down to the pond. Dad enjoyed sitting and watching everyone fish. Instead of asking how deep the pond is, he now counts people. He will count everyone over and over. If I'm across the pond and wave at him, he'll smile and wave back. We also spent time at the pond yesterday afternoon. As Dad and I were sitting on the dock, he did something he hadn't done in a while. When we were growing up, Dad would always reach over and use the side of his hand to check our knee reflex. He did that to me yesterday and laughed. The other thing Dad does over and over at the pond is spit. He spits and spits and spits. I gave him a fishing rod after I cast it, and he reeled it in. Every time I cast it, he would reel it in, over and over. He did catch a fish one time! When I got him ready for bed last night, he didn't want to change his Depend. He said, "No, I'm okay. I'm okay." After insisting several times and not letting him lay down, he finally let me change him. Today has been a lazy day. Simon stayed with Dad while I ran some errands. Dad spent time at the bar, outside on his swing and sleeping in his recliner. I have ribs on the grill so I better run! Happy Labor Day!! Susie

Saturday, September 4, 2010

It's Saturday afternoon and I haven't stopped all day. Dad got up at 7:45 this morning. Van and Simon left at that time to take the little stray dog, who has taken up with us, to the vet. She's cute as pie and has won all of our hearts over. Simon named her Hope. He secretly fed her at the barn for a couple of weeks and I guess that made her ours! I made bacon, eggs and biscuits for breakfast, which Dad loves. When I put the plate down in front of him, he said, "Oh, that looks good! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" After breakfast, Dad read the paper and watched me clean the kitchen. I also washed 4 loads of clothes and hung them on the line, made Dad's bed, paid bills, cleaned Dad's bathroom, and got things ready for tonight. Van's family is coming out for dinner, but everyone's bringing something. Before lunch, I had Dad go outside and sit in his swing with the paper. It is such a beautiful day today. These crisp, cool mornings get me excited about Fall! When I brought Dad in for lunch, I could tell he needed to go to the bathroom. I asked him to sit on the toilet. He said "Why?". I said "You have a dirty Depend." He said, "No I don't." I said, "Sit down on the toilet and let me show you." When he sat down and saw his Depend, he said, "Oooh". I let him sit on the toilet for a while. Usually when I ask him if he's finished, he'll say no. I put out two strips of toilet paper and have him wipe himself. Then I flush the toilet and put out two more. He will wipe again. When he's finished, I have him stand up and I make sure he's clean by using a disposable wipe. If it's real bad, I put him in the shower. Today, a couple of wipes did the trick. We have learned that we cannot leave toilet tissue in the bathroom. Dad will wipe and then forget he's wiped, and wipe again and again. Then he flushes and clogs up the toilet. After lunch, I had him sit back in his recliner. When everyone gets here around 4:00, we'll be going down to the pond and he'll be up all evening. Better go get a few more things done... Susie

Friday, September 3, 2010

Van picked up Dad today. I spent a couple of hours with a friend of mine. When I got home, Dad was sitting at the bar reading the newspaper. I said, "Hello, Dad!" No response. I said it again. No response. He just kept reading. When he got to the end of the small article, he looked up and said "Hi". It's like he has the opposite of ADHD! He doesn't like changing his focus! I heated up leftover vegetables from last night and fed him dinner. He ate at the bar, while I fixed a pizza for me and Van. Then I took him to the bathroom to brush his teeth. It's cute how when he looks in the mirror, he smiles at himself and raises his triangle eyebrows. Then he glances over at me and smiles. I hope if I ever have Alzheimer's Disease, I can look in the mirror and smile at myself! He's in his chair now, dozing. As I was eating dinner, I noticed Dad moving his hand like he was working on something. He does that when he's dreaming. Zeb just called. He's going to be racing at Virginia Tech this weekend. He's on the Appalachian Cycling Team and loves it. I hate that Van and I are not able to see more of his races. I know Zeb wishes we could be there too, but he also understands that keeping Dad was a family commitment and it involves all of us. Sometimes people tell me, "You're a saint!" or "There will be rewards for you!". I don't believe that. I believe some people can be caretakers, and others can't. Yes, I have compassion. But so do most people. I think everyone's compassions can be expressed in different ways. All of the caretakers, no matter whether they are in homes, or in adult day care centers, or in nursing homes, have tremendous compassion. Their jobs are greatly underrated! People who have their loved ones in nursing homes are still caretakers. They may not deal with things 24/7, but neither do I. My hope is that we will all realize the care our aging need and all be willing to to be a part of reaching out to them. I know that sounds mushy, but I believe it! I think it must be very difficult for a spouse to take care of their mate. I think back about the times mom went through when she took care of dad. She dealt with him losing his license, not wanting to take a bath for a week, asking for 4 drinks of Old Grand Dad instead of his usual 2 (everyday), him being lost at sea, and on and on. (Later I'll be sharing some of those stories with you!) For me, Harold is my dad. He also, I believe, understands that I am taking care of him. He seems to help me, in any way he can. We have our moments, but mostly he is relatively easy to care for. For now I'll close..... Susie

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I was so tired today that I came home from work and took about a 45 minute nap before I picked Dad up at LifeCare. On the way home from LifeCare, Dad asked three times, "Where are we going?" I thought back about how he use to ask that question at least twice that many times. When we got home, I started cooking supper and I put Dad to work stringing and snapping green beans. He's great at that. It's a task he will start and not stop until it's complete. Dad really likes to watch me cook. He will look intently as I chop vegetables or combine ingredients. Then he will smile at me and say "Very good, very good". Before dinner, I told Dad I was going to check his blood sugar. He stuck his finger out and kept it there until I went into his room, got the tester and returned to the kitchen. It was strange tonight, because after I pricked his finger and got the drop of blood, I gave him a tissue as usual. When I looked over I noticed he was pushing blood out of his finger and wiping it on the tissue over and over. I've never seen him do that before. I told him to go to the bathroom and wash his hands for dinner. I checked to make sure he did and when he came out of the bathroom he proceeded toward the kitchen. I said "Sit at the table." He kept walking toward me. I said several times, "Dad go sit at the table." He never did until I showed him where to sit. Just the two of us ate dinner together because Van was at the garden and Simon was at a volleyball game. After dinner, I had him get up and clean and brush his teeth. We watched Jeopardy together. He use to read some of the answers, but read only a couple tonight. He's now sitting in his chair watching football. I'll get him in bed about 9:30 tonight so I can get a good night sleep. It's been a long week and I'm still getting use to my school work schedule after our summer break! I'm looking forward to a relaxing Labor Day weekend..... Susie