Monday, November 15, 2010

Respite care is wonderful for caregivers. Although I didn't sleep well on Wednesday night, I did sleep better on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. The rest made me feel rejuvenated and we really enjoyed spending time with Zeb and seeing his bike races. He did great!!! Because his last race yesterday was at 2:30, Betsy picked Dad up at Black Mountain and took him to her house for dinner. She met us at our house around 7:30. Right after she and Dad came in, we were talking and Dad was sitting at the bar. I looked over and Dad had stood up and was unzipping his pants. I shouted, "What are you doing?" and Dad said, "I need to pee!" I grabbed him and said, "Let's go to the bathroom!" He said, "But I need to pee!" I took him in the bathroom and told him he needed to pee in the toilet. He did, but when he came out, the back of his pants were soaking wet. I took him back to my bathroom and also realized he had pooped. I could tell they probably had not been able to get him in the shower at Black Mountain. I got him undressed and to his dismay, in the shower. He took a good shower and I washed his hair and got him in his pajamas. Then he sat in his recliner. Betsy and I didn't even get to talk, because she had to leave. During the night, Dad got up four times. He used the bathroom a couple of times and I changed him twice. He never got real wet, which was good. Every time I got him back in bed and turned the lights out, he would say, "Turn those lights on!" But I didn't. The first time I tried to get him up this morning, he pulled the covers back over himself and said, "I'm not ready to get up." I went in a few minutes later and tried again and he got right up. He seems to be catching a bit of a cold as he was sneezing and blowing his nose a lot last night. I'm going to pick him up in a minute and take him to Mudbones for dinner. Simon is playing the guitar there again tonight. Hopefully, Dad will get back in his routine and sleep better tonight!!!! Susie

The Doctor's Waiting Room

Earlier, I made note of an incident that happened at a doctor's office in Marion. I think I need to preface the story by saying that many caregivers face times which are uncomfortable or embarrassing, but which are part of the dementia process. For my dad, something started right after my mom passed away. For several months, he kept using the p*ssy word. He would say he needed some p*ssy to caregivers or he would make comments out in public about it. There is nothing you can do! When the word comes out, you hope people don't hear it, or at least are not paying attention! With this episode, the time had really passed that Dad was using the word. But about a year ago, I took him to the doctor. We were sitting in the waiting area and I gave Dad a magazine to look at. He was reading the captions of all the pages, out loud, of course. People would look over at me and smile. This day we had to wait longer than usual, about 20 minutes. He was reading through his third magazine, saying things like, "GMC Terrain, seating for 5 adults." or "Reezig, the energy drink for your feet" and so on. At that moment, the door from the doctor's rooms opened and an elderly lady walked out and proceeded to the receptionist window. Dad looked up from his magazine and said aloud, "I wonder how her p*ssy looks!?" Well, I almost died! I wanted to slither under my chair. I looked at Dad with a cross look. He went right back to reading his magazine. Fortunately, he was called back to see the doctor right after that! What do you do? What can you do? Caregivers are dealing with this at different times. Fortunately, my dad hasn't used that word in a long time and I think it has left his repertoire! Now my dad really just says the same things in response to people and in greeting people. The only time he says unusual things is maybe when he is dreaming or right after he wakes up; then what he says often doesn't make sense. I think it's important for people to know that many caregivers are dealing with these kinds of situations and when people hear strange things such as this, they might remember this! Thanks!....Susie

Friday, November 12, 2010

Van, Simon and I are in Boone visiting Zeb. We will be here for the weekend to see his bike races tomorrow and Sunday. Dad has been at Black Mountain Neuromedical Center for a respite visit since Wednesday. Van took him up. When he asks Van where they are going, Van tells him that he's going to the Black Mountain Motel for a visit. Betsy is planning on picking Dad up on Sunday so we can stay for Zeb's race at 2:30. Since Dad was going to be gone, I decided to have a little drop in at my house on Wednesday. It was lots of fun, but I thought, "Why do I do this to myself?" I have a little time off and decide to work cooking and cleaning for a drop in! Just shoot me! Anyway, I've had this weird thing going on with my back and neck and headaches for a little over a week. I'm beginning to think it's a virus. On Wednesday night I thought it would really be nice to get a good night sleep. I wouldn't have to get up to change Dad and could sleep as late as I wanted. I turned off my cell phone alarms that I've been using to wake me at 1:00 and 3:00 to change Dad and my clock alarms that wake me in the morning at 5:30 and5:40. Well, my back hurt and I didn't sleep well. I kept waking up. I did stay in bed until almost 9:00. I got up and planned to do some things around the house. Then Zeb called with car trouble. I ended up spending some time with him and his roomate, Derek because he brought his car to Rutherfordton. We had lunch together. It was nice. I got a few things done in the afternoon. Then last night I had another headache and went to bed at 9:15. This morning I opened my eyes and it was getting light. I looked over at the clock and it was 6:45! I couldn't believe it! I had 15 minutes to leave for work! I had forgotten to turn my alarm back on! I didn't even take a shower. I pulled my hair back, threw on some makeup and headed out the door! I guess I got that hour of sleep I complained about not really getting! It is nice to have a few nights that I can sleep, or try to sleep through the night. It reminds me of when I had children and I never felt like I got a good night's sleep. I know Dad is being taken good care of and that makes me feel better. I'm looking forward to tomorrow and seeing Zeb's race.......... Susie

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Simon had a soccer banquet last night. I had a meeting after school and didn't get home until after 5:00. Our sitter picked up Dad at Life Care and brought him home. I got his sheets changed before I left. After the banquet, Van and Simon and I ran by Lowe's and Burke's Outlet. We got home around 9:00. Dad had done great while we were gone and was cozy in his recliner. When I told him it was time to go to bed, he said he just wanted to stay in his chair. I told him I had to go to sleep. He said, "You go ahead, I'm gonna stay right here." Often, I will tell him I need his help doing something and he will usually concede - which he did. I got him in bed at 10:00 and went to bed myself. I got up at 1:00 to change him. Evidently, he had pulled off his dry depend and had decided to sleep in the nude. His sheets were soaking through to the mattress cover. I had to pull everything off the bed. Dad kept trying to lay back down on the bed as I was changing it and I would have to tell him to get up. I got new sheets and covers on the bed and started washing the dirty ones. This morning I went to get him up and he said he wasn't ready to get up. I told him we had to get to work and he decided he would get up. He will be going back up to Black Mountain for a respite visit again tomorrow. We are planning to visit Zeb at Appalachian and watch his bike race this weekend. I have lots to do tonight to get his things ready. Hopefully, while he's gone I'll be able to fill in my blog with some other stories!!!! Susie

Sunday, November 7, 2010

I have some catching up to do! My sister, Marie, came last Wednesday from Dallas. My dear college friend, Maria, and her family came Friday and stayed the weekend. Everyone left today. We have had a great visit! Dad enjoyed seeing Marie and I know Marie enjoyed spending time with Dad. On Thursday, Peter invited us over for supper. I had a horrible headache, so I stayed home with Dad and Marie, Simon and Van went to Peter's house. After I fed Dad his supper, he was sitting at the bar. Marie had picked up some paint samples for me. The paint was in small, pint size plastic containers that had a handle and a plastic lid. They were sitting on the bar. The phone rang and I went over to sit on the couch and talk. When I walked back over to the bar to hang the phone up, Dad was screwing one of the paint lids back on the bottle. I looked at him and he had a light green circle around his mouth! I told him to stick out his tongue, and sure enough, it was covered in light green paint!! I couldn't believe it! I said, "Did you drink some of that?" and he said, "No!" (Bologna!!!) The bottle did say to call poison control, but I knew he had only taken a swallow. I called Van at Peter's house. I decided to give him a big glass of water, which he drank. My, my, my!! Simon picked Dad up at Life Care on Friday so that I could get groceries and come home to start supper. Marie and I got to walk down to the pond and spend some time together before everyone got home. Then I grilled hamburgers and made homemade French fries. We all ate together around the table and Dad said the Lord's Prayer for us. On Saturday, Simon stayed with Dad while Marie, Maria and I went to the flea market and few other sales. When we got back home, we ate lunch and did some things around the house. Once, I was making Dad's bed and when I went back in the living room, he wasn't in there. Maria thought he was in the bathroom. She had heard a horn blowing. We looked outside and he was sitting in Simon's car, blowing the horn. I went out and he said, "Where are the keys?" I told him Van had the keys. He said, "Where is he?" I told him Van was playing golf. He said, "Well, I guess I'll have to go later." Then I got him out of the car. Later, Simon and Marie told me he was telling them that he thought his time was up and he was ready to go. Another time, Simon went in his room and Dad told him he was looking for his keys. He was trying to open the china cabinet. After everyone went to bed last night, he kept getting up. Van or I would get him back in bed and a few minutes later, he would get up again. He finally stayed there! I made everyone a big breakfast this morning. After everyone left I did some washing and cleaning and then just hung out with Dad and watched a movie. I got him in the shower after dinner. He did pretty good. I just have to make sure he doesn't know the plan until he's mostly undressed. I washed his hair and told him to wash all his parts. Then he actually stayed in the shower for a while. Every time I asked if he was finished, he would say "almost." We got an extra hour last night, but unfortunately I didn't get it in sleep! I'm going to hit the sack!.......... Susie

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Peter picked up Dad at Life Care yesterday afternoon. Van and I ran some errands and ate dinner with friends. When Dad got home, he sat in his chair at first but then wanted to walk around the house. When I sat down on the couch, he decided he would sit down. We watched some TV and I fell asleep. I got him in bed at 10:30. I set my alarm to get up at 1:00 and 4:00 to change him. At 1:00, I went in and woke him up and told him I needed to change him. He said, "No, I don't need to." He was soaking wet. I told him he did need to. He pushed me away and kept trying to pull the covers over him. I told him he needed to stand up and change his pants and I would let him lay back down. It was a struggle back and forth. He was determined that I was not going to change him and that he was going to lie down and get the covers back on him. Out of frustration, I finally tore his depend on both sides and it fell off. Then I had to make him sit up so I could put another on him. At 4:00 I went in to change him again. I said, "Dad, I need you to stand up so we can change your pants. He did so with no trouble at all. We changed his depend and t-shirt and he laid back down and went right back to sleep. Go figure!!! He was a little ornery this morning, too. He didn't think he needed a new depend. I told him it was wet and he pulled it out to see. About that time he started peeing. The depend soaked it up. I got him washed up and changed. He went to the bathroom and washed his hands and brushed his hair. When he came to the bar, I had his juice and medicine ready. He said he didn't need his medicine. He kept counting his pills over and over. Van and I both told him to take them, and he kept saying, "No, not now" or "No, I don't need them." He finally took them. Marie came from Texas today. I picked Dad up at Life Care and went home to cook dinner. Peter also came over and we all had a great time with each other and with Dad. After dinner, Marie showed Dad lots of old pictures of him and his mother and grandparents. He would say, "That's ole Harold Compton" or "I don't know who that is." Marie will be staying with us for several days to spend some time with Dad..... Susie

Monday, November 1, 2010

We had an eventful evening! I picked Dad up at Life Care at 5:00 and we went to Spindale to Mudbones Restaurant. Simon was making his debut playing the guitar! Dad and I sat at the back table. Lots of friends came to hear Simon. It was a great time with great food. I got Dad a vegetable plate, as usual. He loves it. While we were waiting for his meal, my friend Meg came over to talk to us. We had Dad spell some words. He correctly spelled medical, pediatrician, aspirin, school, children, Rutherfordton, North Carolina, Duke University, Chapel Hill, pneumonia, California, spina bifida, meningitis, and Forest City. He spelled guitar - gitar and missed a syllable in Mississippi. He couldn't tell us the names of his children, but he did spell them when I told him. He could tell us his mother's name and spell it, but not his wife's name. He was not able to tell us his birthday, but did spell it when I told him. After he finished eating, Van took him to the bathroom so he wouldn't pull out his teeth and clean them off. Then he read the menu over and over. I moved a table behind him to talk to Tammy and Tim. We looked over and Dad had the barbecue sauce bottle, drinking from it! Then he got up and walked around. He stopped at the table where Van was sitting and picked up a beer and took a drink. I tell you, if it's in front of him, he will drink it or eat it! Simon moved to the bar stools to play for a while and Dad went up and sat next to him. He was really enjoying the music and being there. When I tried to get him to leave, he didn't want to. I got him up about 7:45 and we headed home. He didn't say anything on the ride home. I think he was worn out! When we pulled up to the house, I said, "We're home! Let's get out." He said, "I want to stay here." I told him we needed to go in the house and he told me he wasn't going to get out. I took my things in and let him stay outside for a few minutes. Then I went back out and told him it was going to get cold and he needed to come in. He let me help him get out of the car. I got him changed and in to his pajamas and gave him his medicine. He's now in his recliner in front of the TV, but probably sleeping! It's been quite a night!! Susie