Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I woke up yesterday morning and checked on Dad. He was laying in bed, awake. Before I got him up, I called Dr. Jane's office and explained how Dad had been the past few days. They said they would call me back. I returned to Dad's room and he was sitting on the side of the bed, leaning over some. He said, "I'm having trouble breathing." I told him I had called the doctor and we would be seeing her soon. I got him up and gave him his juice and medicine. I made him oatmeal and coffee. He needed a shower. I took him back to the bathroom and got him undressed. He said, "I've got to sit down." He sat down, naked. After a minute, I tried again to get him in the tub. Simon came in to help me. I washed him as quick as I could, because he seemed really weak and wanted to sit down. We got him dressed back in pajama bottoms. The phone rang and it was the doctor's office. Dr. Jane wasn't working, but they told me we could see the P.A. at 10:30. I got in the shower and Simon sat with Dad. Simon said that my dad was sitting on the couch and looked over at him and said, "Simon, I'm dying." Then he kept feeling his wrist. Simon said, "What are you doing, Papaw?" Daddy said, "I'm checking to see if I have a pulse." We got him ready and took off for the doctor's office. When we got there, the nurse checked his oxygen. It was 53 and they started giving him oxygen and it went up to 90. The P.A. told us he needed to go to the emergency room and would probably be admitted. She felt they would need to run several tests to see what was going on. She would call and let them know we were on the way. We got to the ER about 11:45. The place was packed. I thought to myself, if dad has to sit out here and wait, I don't know what I'll do! He didn't wait long. We stayed in the ER for 7 hours. Peter, Van, Zeb and Simon were there for a while and Betsy stayed with us all day. During that time, we found that Daddy had had a heart attack. We don't know when, but fluid had built up and that was why he was short of breath. Our nurse was great and we assisted her all day. Daddy was the best patient ever, even with the IV and catheter. He smiled and laughed and talked to people as usual, saying things like, "How are you? You're looking good. You hang in there!" One of the doctors asked him who I was and he said, "That's Susie, my wife." The cardiologist talked to us about his heart and another doctor told us he was having heart failure, but they were treating it as aggressively as they could, medically. They got him in a room just before 7:00. Jane, my friend who's a nurse, called and got him a tray for dinner. I knew he must be starving because all he had eaten was the bowl of oatmeal. I asked her to get him fish or all vegetables, because he spits out meat and doesn't like it. They sent up broiled fish, green beans and steamed vegetables. He ate all his beans and most of his fish and veggies. He started to take out his teeth, but I got them and washed both sets off for him. He was alert and bright eyed. Peter came in with Harry and Spencer. They were going to stay about 30 minutes. Van and Simon came. I decided to go get some dinner with Simon and then head home to rest. When I got home, I went in the bathroom and washed my face. I sat down and began to cry. The tears were just rolling and I began to pray. I truly felt God's presence as if his arms were around me. This feeling came over me and I said to God that I could let him go. I went in my bedroom and called my sister, Marie. As soon as we hung up, the phone rang. The nurse at the hospital told me Dad had just passed away. I broke down and Van and Simon were both hugging me and I was saying, "I should have been there." We called my brothers and sisters and met Betsy and Peter back at the hospital. David was driving down from Sugar Mountain. Our friends, Tammy, Sandra and Jackie also came. When I walked in the room and saw Daddy laying there, he was so peaceful and had a smile on his face. We all spent time together, waiting on David, telling stories. We laughed and we cried. A nurse and Kathy, the chaplain, joined us. John McMahan came and we talked to him and then left the hospital. Peter and David came out to my house and we stayed up until about 2am. The last time I looked at the clock it was after 4. We met at McMahan's Funeral home at 9:30. We've had friends in all day and lots of calls. There has truly been an outpouring of love for my Dad and for my family and we really appreciate it. We will be at McMahan's on Thursday, from 5:00 - 7:00pm and there will be a memorial service on Sunday at 3:00pm at First United Methodist Church in Rutherfordton. Daddy wanted to be cremated, so we decided to have an open casket at McMahan's in a cremation casket and will bury his ashes at the Rutherfordton Cemetery with a military committal service. Our Pastor, Ed, has to be out of town for a family wedding, but Tonya Hill has agreed to do the service. I am amazed at God's everlasting love. He always answers our prayers. My prayer has been that Dad would not die of Alzheimer's Disease. My prayer has been that I could do what was necessary to care for Dad. God has held me in his hand and continues to do so tonight........... Susie

Sunday, December 26, 2010

I have so much to catch up on! The fall that Dad had definitely hurt him. On Wednesday morning, he couldn't get up out of bed without the help of me and Van. He said, "Ooooh" and "My back hurts." He pointed to his lower back. On Wednesday morning, he had an appointment with Dr. G, at Rutherford Orthopedics. Dr. G takes care of Dad's feet and toenails. I told him about the fall and he said if he didn't seem better in a day or two, one of the Ortho's could see him. He soaked in the jacuzzi tub at Life Care on Tuesday and again on Thursday. He still had lots of pain on Thursday, getting up and down, but it seemed a little better. The family all went to Peter's house on Thursday night. Dad enjoyed being with everyone. Of course, he wanted to eat and drink everything and anything in front of him! As we all got ready to go, we put Dad's coat on him and we were gathering our things, when the next thing we knew Dad was on the floor. He had fallen again! The boys helped him get up and he walked out to the car. Zeb and Simon took their papaw home and Van and I dropped by a party. Zeb said they asked Dad how bad his back hurt on a scale of 1 - 10. Dad said, "Eight." They asked if he needed to see a doctor and Dad said, "No, it'll be better in the morning." Since then, we've helped him get up and down. He complains of pain as he moves from seated to standing position, but is okay once he stands up. At night, I've been putting a pillow under his knees. The past couple of nights, he seemed to be short of breath when he was laying down. His mouth has been really dry and his lips chapped. I've gotten up to put ChapStick on his lips and give him water. Changing him is harder because I need help getting him to stand. Today he seemed better. He is still sore but doesn't complain as much. He sat at he table for several hours today looking at his books and working with his math cards. He really loved yesterday. David's family, Peter's family, Betsy's family, Van's mom and aunt, and Tim and Tammy came over for Christmas breakfast. What a beautiful day, with the snow falling! I couldn't believe our white Christmas! Dad loved being around everyone. Rodrigo played 21 with him. He opened some gifts and had a great day. We took some video I hope to upload soon. It concerns me that Dad has fallen twice. I'm going to see how he is tomorrow and call Dr. Jane about him. He's had a good day today and only shows some pain when he has to stand up. I wonder if he didn't crack his tailbone. Other than that, we've had a really wonderful Christmas....... Susie

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Yesterday was the busiest day ever! I overslept because I forgot to reset my alarm. I left the house in a hurry and Van had to get Dad up. He said he left him sitting at the bar, looking at books, as usual. He went back to the bathroom to get in the shower and said he heard a loud crash. He came back in to the kitchen area to find that Dad had fallen off the stool and was laying on his back. He called for Zeb and they got him up. He didn't seem to be hurt. Van told them to keep an eye on him at Life Care. He seems to be okay. Peter picked him up this afternoon and said he had a lot of trouble getting Dad to get out of the car when they got to his house. Later they went out to eat. When Peter brought him home, Dad came in and didn't want to take his coat off. He sat in his chair, with his coat on, for about an hour. I decided to get him in the bed. The first two times I told him it was bedtime, he said he wasn't ready for bed. I got Simon to come up and together, we helped pull him up. He seemed a little unstable at first, but then he went in and used the bathroom. I tried to get him to pull out his teeth and rinse them off, but he refused and I gave up that battle. I handed him his toothbrush and he did brush his teeth. This is our conversation, now, most nights:

Me: Let's take your clothes off.

Dad: Why?

Me: 'Cause you're getting in bed. Take off your shirt.

Dad: (He sits on the edge of the bed and unbuttons his shirt and then his shirt sleeves.)

Me: (I help him pull the shirt off) Take off your pants.

Dad: (Huffs a little. Unzips pants and pulls them down, then sits on the bed and puts leg out for me to pull off shoes and take pants legs off.)

Me: Now take off your underwear.

Dad: Why?

Me: Because we are going to put these clean ones on. (I show him the new Depend)

Dad: He pulls Depend down far enough for me to pull it off. Then he puts legs through clean Depend as I hold it and then he pulls it up.

Me: Now you can lay down.

Dad: Thank you. Thank you.

I hear his words less and less. He's in bed behind me whispering, "Lordy me mercy, Lordy me mercy.".....Susie

Sunday, December 19, 2010

It's been a great day today. Dad got up about 7:45 and of course, I got up with him. I fixed him Rice Krispies with bananas and made a pot of coffee. I watched the news and Sunday Morning while he sat at the bar and looked through papers, magazines and his math cards. Zeb said he would stay home with Papaw while Van, Simon and I went to church. It's been a long time since Van went to church with us, so that was really nice. He is usually the one to stay home with Dad, although he doesn't complain about it! After church we all ate left overs and took it easy. Zeb left for a bike ride around 3 and Simon and Van left to go to Barley's Pizzeria. There was a benefit tonight for Tiffany, whose father just passed away with cancer. Lots of local musicians played and Simon started it off at 4. I got Dad ready. As we pulled out of the driveway, he asked where we were going. I said, "Barley's Restaurant." In just a second or two he asked again, and again I said, "Barley's Restaurant." After we had gone down the road about a mile, he looked over at me and said, "Susie, we are going to Barley's Restaurant!" He laughed. Then he repeated, "Barley's Restaurant" over and over. We got there just before Simon started to play. When the waitress asked Dad what he wanted to drink, he said giggling, "some Old Grandad", which use to be his daily drink. I got him a beer and when he took the first sip, he made a face. Then he drank the rest with no problem. The place was absolutely packed. Dad really enjoyed watching everyone and he laughed and had a great time. We saw some old time friends like Kathy Cunningham, Debbie Harrington and Jimmy Beason. We also saw Kathy, who use to keep Dad. It was great and even though Dad didn't remember them, he enjoyed their attention to him. We stayed for 3 hours and when I thought we better head home, he said he wasn't quite ready. Zeb drove us home and I got Dad into his pajamas and then I got in mine. I fixed his medicine for the week and got things ready for tomorrow. He's in his chair and I'm going to join him in the living room. Hope everyone has a great week and a happy holiday!!! Susie

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Wednesday was a regular day at work. I decided to run some errands after I got off because David was getting Dad. Susan called me when I was at Belk and said that David's car had broken down and I would need to pick up Dad. It worked out and they kept Dad on Thursday night. On Wednesday night, both times I tried to change Dad, he pitched a fit. He tried to pull the covers back and kept telling me to get away and that he didn't need changing. The first time, I gave up, but the second time Van came in to help and we got him changed. On Thursday morning, there was ice on the roads and school was called off. I got Dad up and Van took him to Life Care only to find that no one was there. He brought Dad back home and I made him eggs and toast for breakfast. I called Life Care around 10, and found that they had come in. I started to go in for 1/2 workday, but I had a headache and thought I would just take the rest of the day off. I took Dad to Life Care and came back home. I made homemade chicken noodle soup and tried to relax the rest of the day. David got Dad and I went with Van and the boys to Mudbones to hear Zack Byers play music. We got home just before David brought Dad home. Dad was okay with the nightly changes on Thursday night. Yesterday morning, Dad had his appointment with Dr. Jane. As we were talking about some of my recent concerns, I started crying. It seemed the tears were just rolling and I couldn't stop them. Jane said it was good for her to see my tears. She said that doctors often see their patients ten minutes and don't realize what the caregivers are really dealing with 24/7. Again, I think about how much support I have and how blessed I am in so many ways and that Dad is as good as he is. On the way out of her office, Dad saw the eye chart and read every line. He wasn't going to keep walking until he had finished the entire chart. Jane laughed. After his blood work, I took him to Life Care and went to work. Phillip called me about 4:00 and wanted to pick Dad up and bring him home. He took Dad to see some Christmas lights and when they got in, I made them some of the chicken noodle soup. Van and I left to go to the Water Oak for our anniversary. Zeb stayed home and Papaw sat. During the night, I got up at 1:00 to change Dad and he wanted no part of it. He didn't look real wet, so I thought I would wait. At 3:30, I went in to change him again. This time he was soaking. He got really angry that I wanted him to stand up and let me change him. I kept trying and knew I had to get him up because he was so wet. He kept telling me to "get away" and "go on". Zeb and Van, both awakened by us, came in, and the three of us got him changed. I slept until 9:30 this morning. I couldn't believe it. It was wonderful! Dad didn't get up until 10! We've just taken it easy all day and I have loved it. Dad keeps going up to the Christmas tree and touching all the ornaments. He counts them and then checks to make sure the Christmas lights are not too hot. Once, he went in the bathroom and used the bathroom. Then he went to the sink and hocked and spit. Then he got his brush and brushed his hair. Then he looked through his ditty bag. He kept doing that over and over. I tried to get him to come out, but he said, "I need to wash myself." I let him continue and he stayed in there for about 25 minutes, repeating those actions! I'm cooking dinner and not going anywhere! I love it! Susie

P.S. Zeb spent5 days in Oregon for the National Collegiate Cyclocross Race. He had a blast and Appalachian came in third! I'm so proud of him!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I was feeling a bit under the weather Sunday morning. It was drizzling freezing rain and I decided to stay home from church. Dad slept until about 9:15. I made him oatmeal for breakfast and then he hung out in his chair and I hung out on the couch. I took it easy most of the day. Dad's eye is looking better and he really isn't messing with it. In the afternoon, I got him in the shower and he did really well with that. I've mentioned to a couple of people that he has had this different smell to him. Sometimes, if he has a wet depend, he might have a urine smell. But this smell is different and even after a shower, I can smell it. It might sound crazy, but it reminds me of the smell Mama had a week or two before she died with cancer. I guess as people change, they may have different smells. Dad will be going to Dr. Jane on Friday, so I'll mention it to her. Last night, Simon played at Mudbones again. I think the cold kept more people from coming out! It was freezing! Dad enjoyed his vegetables and didn't complain too much when it was time to go. When I got home with Dad, I changed him and put on his pajamas. He sat in his recliner until time to go to bed. When I tried to get him up, he said he didn't want to. Once, he stood up and then sat back down. Simon came over and helped me get him to bed. I got up twice last night to change him. The first time he was totally dry. The second time he was soaked. This morning I went to get him up for the day. I had made lots of noise in the kitchen and turned the lights on, but I could tell he was not going to want to get out of bed! He tried to grab the covers back, but I was pulling them off to get them in the wash. He said, "No! Look out!" When I told him again that he needed to get up and I pushed his legs toward the floor, he said again, "Look out!" It was almost as if he was saying, "You better leave me alone or I'll do something." Van came in to help and once we got him going, he was fine. He had his follow up appointment with Dr. Lowery for his eye this afternoon. When we got out of the car, he said, "Ooh, it's cold out here!" Then he read everything he saw all the way to the door. In the waiting area, he kept counting things aloud. Once, I asked what he was counting and he said "fishers". I think he was counting the lights. He took a magazine in to the examining room and read through it over and over. Dr. Lowery said his eye was looking really good. When we left, I took him to Peter's for dinner. They should be home soon. I have all my chores done and I'm ready for bed. I think I'll make it an early night for Dad, too. My shoulder and back are still killing me. Yesterday, it felt like a muscle in my shoulder "popped". It's been really sore since. I'm trying to take it easy on it!......... Susie

Dad is doing great today. He actually kept on the plastic shield until this morning. His eye looks great and he is in good spirits. We slept until 9:15, which was nice. I can tell more and more that not getting good, deep sleep is wearing on me. I guess the last time I had really good sleep was when we went to the beach in July. Simon stayed with Dad so I could run to the flea market to get magnetic bracelets for my friend, Maria. After I got there, I found out that the man who sells them was not there. Shoot! When I got home, Dad was still sitting at the bar where I left him. He had been looking through papers and magazines and catalogs. He's been back and forth between the bar and his recliner ever since. It seems I can never catch up around here. Time goes by way too fast. I've come to realize that so many things in life come down to time and money. Most people don't have enough of either! As I grow older, and watch my Dad's decline with age and dementia, I also realize that we can live our lives more for time, or more for money. Time is the most precious gift we have to give another. How people spend their time says a lot. Caregivers give time more than anything. I feel sad for those caregivers out there who have no support. I hope they will learn to reach out to those around them and that others will see their need and respond. As fortunate as I am, it is never easy. I said once, that after thinking about how much Mom had done in caring for Dad, I had the easy part. I believe that, but it is still difficult. There are many relationships and dynamics between relationships. We are all in it together. I got news this morning that Viola, my dad's cousins wife, had died. She loved for us to come visit. I had hoped to get Dad out to see her, but never made "time". It was interesting that I was thinking about caring and giving and I went to make myself a cup of tea. On the box was a quote from The Art of Giving by Kent Nerburn: "Remember to be gentle with yourself and others. We are all children of chance, and none can say why some fields will blossom and others lay brown beneath the August sun. Care for those around you. Look past your differences. Their dreams are no less than yours, their choices in life no more easily made. And give. Give in any way you can, of whatever you possess. To give is to love. To withhold is to wither. Care less for your harvest than how it is shared, and your life will have meaning and your heart will have peace." The only thing I would change, is that I believe we are children of God, and not of chance. I believe Jesus came to tell us to give. Slow down this holiday season and enjoy. I'll try to do the same........ Susie

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Oh my goodness. I have had quite a couple of days! Dad had his eye surgery yesterday morning. We left the house at 8:30. On the drive to Morganton, he asked about 100 times where we were going and why. I told him over and over - "We're going to Morganton to the eye doctor. He is going to fix your eyelid." He would ask how long it took to get there. I kept telling him about 30 minutes. That was about the extent of our conversation! The folks at Morganton Eye were great. The nurses and Dr. Lowery were especially comforting to Dad. They had to talk him through the surgery, but said he did well. His bottom eyelid and tear duct was drooping away from his eye. It was causing him to rub his eye a lot, causing sores under his eye. Dr. Lowery did a procedure that would make the bottom lid adhere back to the eye. After receiving post op instructions we headed home. I was suppose to keep Dad from rubbing his eye or from taking off the shield he had over the eye. I didn't realize what a task that would be! He dozed some on the way home. After lunch, he sat in his recliner. He kept trying to remove the shield. I would say, "Dad, you can't mess with that. You had surgery this morning and you have stitches around your eye." He would say, "Okay." Ten seconds later, he would reach up again and try to remove the shield. I sat by him all afternoon, keeping him from pulling off the shield. I think I explained why about 1001 times. Several times, he got really annoyed with me and tried to push my hand away. Once, he fell asleep. I thought I would try to hang up some clothes in the basement. I tiptoed them down and as soon as I started, I heard him walking upstairs. I ran up and he was walking in to the bathroom, no shield on his eye. He had pulled it off and laid it on the couch. As soon as he got to the bathroom, he looked in the mirror and started rubbing his eye. I got the shield back on and sat with him the rest of the day. At one point, he started walking around the house and said he needed to "work". I said, "What work do you need to do?" He said he needed to clean the floors. I told him our floors were clean. He said he needed to clean something. I took him in to his bathroom and gave him a sponge and he washed his sink with water. Then I asked him if he wanted to fold some towels. He didn't. We sat at the bar and I had him draw a picture of a man. Then I had him spell some words for me. He spelled these words correctly: surgery, North Carolina, pediatrician, hospital, pneumonia, grocery, mountain, Christmas, envelope, medical, Duke University, Chapel Hill, school, elephant, telephone, television, intestines, stomach, laugh, finger, kidney, blood vessel, shoulder, wrist, and addition. He only missed: Missippi/Mississippi, geraphic/giraffe, achidemic/academic, ankile/ankle, spighetti/spaghetti, and cheeta/cheetah. It was a long day and we both fell asleep, me on the couch and Dad in his chair, about 10:00 and I woke up at 11:30. I got him up and in the bed. I was exhausted. I checked on him twice during the night and attempted to change him the second time, but he wanted no part of it. I was too tired to argue. I had already decided I needed to stay home from work with him today. They didn't need to worry with this at Life Care. He got up at 7:30 this morning. I took him straight to the shower. He really needed it. I wanted to get him in before I took the patch off because he can't get his eye wet. He did pretty good. I took the patch off and put on his ointment and his drops. He started rubbing his eye and I knew I would have to keep the shield on his eye. They had given me an extra shield, so I put it on with tape. It was clear and didn't have the gauze under it, so Dad tolerated it much better. I had him ice it a couple of times, and he tolerated that fairly well, too. He did better today than I thought he would. I should have rested myself, but I ended up doing things that needed to be done. Maybe I can catch up on my rest this weekend! We just finished supper and I'm going to chill out in front of the tube. Thank you for your prayers - I think he's on the downhill slope! He should be fine to go back to Life Care tomorrow.......... Susie

Sunday, December 5, 2010

I feel like this is the first time I've sat down since I got home from church! I'm so tired and it's Sunday night! The weekend flew by. Dad and I stayed at the house on Friday while Van and Simon each went out with their friends. Dad actually told me he was ready for bed about 9:30, so I got him in bed and then I tried to stay awake and watch 20/20. Yesterday morning I had hopes of sleeping in a bit. Dad got up at 7:30 and I got him to lay back down. He got back up at 7:45 and he said he was ready to get up. I got his juice and medicine and fixed him some Rice Krispies with bananas. Van had to leave at 8:00. I tried to lay back down, but Dad came walking in my room. I got him back to the bar looking at his books, and I laid back down. He came in my room again, so I just got up. I gave Dad his math cards. He took the cards and laid them out on the bar, about 5 across and 5 down. He kept rearranging them and reading them. He worked with those cards for about 2 hours. He had a pretty good day and I think he enjoyed being home, not having to do anything. Last night, Van and I went out with some friends from work. Simon and a few of his friends "Papaw sat". I put Dad in bed when we got home. This morning Dad got up early again. After breakfast, he wanted to sit in his chair. I sat on the couch and he kept saying things that made no sense. Once he said, "You gotta shakeball?" I said, "I don't know what you want." He said, "You brush your sitter with it." Later he said, "Give me some susack." Another time, he was looking at his watch and he said, "Susie, it's 7:10." I said, "No, it's 9:10." He said, "Yea, yea it is." I made a big pot of vegetable soup this afternoon and he really enjoyed watching me chop all the vegetables. He kept saying, "Good, very good." While I was chopping, he didn't take his eyes off me. After supper, I took him to the bathroom for a shower. He knew something was up. When I told him to take off his fleece jacket, he didn't want to. I told him it was dirty and I needed to wash it. Then I told him to take off his pants, and each time he questioned me and each time I told him it was dirty and needed to be washed. He didn't want to get in the shower, but I had him feel the warm water and told him he just needed to rinse off. I got him in and he stayed for about 2o minutes. I sat and read a magazine. He kept peeking out at me. He would smile and raise his eyebrows. I would say, "Are you finished?" He would say, "Not yet." He must have peeked out about 15 times before he finally turned off the water and was ready to get out. I got him to brush his hair and teeth and shave. He's in his chair now and I'll try to get him in bed soon. I need to hit the sack because we have a busy week ahead. I'll be taking Dad for some outpatient surgery on his eye on Wednesday. Please say a prayer for us for that day!!! Susie

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Last night when I woke Dad for the first time to change him, he argued and didn't want me to pull the covers off him. We struggled for a minute, but he finally gave in and stood up and took off his depend. He tried to lay back down without putting on another, but I pushed his legs back on to the floor and he let me put on the clean one. The second time I woke him up, he followed my directions without any problem. This morning when I went to the kitchen to make coffee, I turned on the light. Dad said, "Susie, what are you doing?" I told him and said I would be back to get him up. After I got ready and came back to the kitchen, he got up and walked in to the kitchen and gave me a big hug. We went back to the bedroom and he let me help him dress. After work today, I picked him up at Life Care and on the way home he asked about 7 or 8 times where we were going. The first time I told him "home" and he said, "Where is that?" I told him Hudlow Road in Rutherfordton. After that, each time he asked I told him "home, Hudlow Road, Rutherfordton." At two of the three stop lights, he told me it was okay to go when the light was red. When we got in, the phone was ringing. It was Van. Dad had followed me to the kitchen. As I was talking to Van, I noticed Dad standing by the kitchen door. When I looked again, I realized he had his pants unzipped and he was starting to pee. I said, "Wait!! Dad, don't pee there- we've got to go to the bathroom! He peed all the way to the toilet. I got him in his chair and mopped up the floor. Then I left to go to yoga. Simon stayed with Dad. I'm home and we've had dinner. Dad has been sitting at the bar looking through books, magazines, the paper and his math cards. I'm going to watch some TV and then get him in the bed! Susie

December 1, 2010

I can't believe it's December 1st. Time flies. Peter picked up Dad yesterday. I had scheduled a message for my back. It was wonderful. After that, Simon and I met Pam and Pam at Mudbones for the Low Country Boil. We had a great time and the food was delicious. When I got home, I got some chores done. Peter brought Dad home just before 9. I gave him his medicine and he got in the recliner. I relaxed on the couch, and actually fell asleep. I woke up at 10:15 and decided to get Dad in the bed so that I could get in bed. He was sleeping and I woke him and told him we needed to get in the bed. He said, "I'm good right here." I told him I needed to go to bed, so he needed to get up and let me get him in bed. He said, "No, I'm not getting up." I tried to take the blanket off him and he kept pulling it back. We went back and forth and it took Van and Simon coming over to help before Dad would get up. I took him in the bathroom and told him to try to pee. He wouldn't. Then I tried to put soap on his hands so he could wash them, but he wouldn't let me. I did get toothpaste on a toothbrush and he grabbed it from me and quickly brushed his teeth. He was not a happy camper. He followed me to his bedroom. I tried to look at him in his eyes to let him know I needed his help. I got him to take off his shirt and pants. He argued some, but complied. He didn't want to take off his depend, but he finally did. I checked his blood sugar and it was okay. I was glad to say "Good night." Last night I got up at 1:00 to change him and it went well. He was a little slower and seemed a little out of it, but he didn't complain. I don't even remember the second alarm. When I got up at 5:30 this morning, I realized I hadn't changed him the second time. When I went in at 6:40 to get him up, he grabbed the covers and said he didn't want to get up. He said, "I'll get up in a little while." I told him I had to leave for work and I needed to get him up. He said, "You go on, I'll get up later." He pulled the covers tightly on himself like he wasn't going to budge. I decided to do a few other things I needed to do and then I came back. I acted like it was the first time I had been in. By this time I think he was more awake. I said, "Good morning! Are you ready to get up?" He said, "I guess so." He got up and I got him dressed and to the bar for his medicine, juice and coffee. David picked him up at Life Care today. They should be home any time. I may go ahead and get him in the bed when he gets home, depending on how he seems. It's a real struggle when you know that all they want to do is be content and not have to do anything. It's hard to make him do something he doesn't want to do. Hopefully things will be easier tonight! Susie

Monday, November 29, 2010

Mondays are hard after a holiday! I think they are hard for Dad, too. He did get up this morning to use the bathroom, just in time for me to get him dressed. That helped. He pleasantly undressed and then put on his t-shirt, shirt, depend, pants, belt, watch, and hearing aid with some assistance from me. Then he sat at the bar and took his medicine with his juice. He was drinking a cup of coffee and looking at yesterdays paper when I left for work. I picked him up at Life Care about 5:15. Only one other person was still waiting for their caregiver. He seemed happy, sitting in a chair with his coat on. We went to straight Mudbones, because Simon was playing the guitar again. Dad watched everyone and read the menu over and over. He smiled at me a lot and winked. He ate a vegetable plate. After he ate, Van took him to the bathroom to clean his teeth. We stayed for a couple of hours and then I decided we ought to head home. Dad got up with me and holding my hand, walked toward the door. As soon as I opened the door, the cold air came in and Dad decided he didn't want to go out. He pulled me back and said, "I don't want to go out there." I said, "We have to go home." He pulled me again and said, "I'm not going out there." We struggled back and forth for a minute. Our friends in Mudbones, saw my dilemma and smiled and laughed. I laughed too, continuing to try to get him to go out the door. Harry saw me and came to help, but we still couldn't get Dad to go out. Peter came to the rescue and finally got Dad to go out with me! When we got home, Dad didn't want to get out of the car. I told him it was getting colder and it looked like rain, and he needed to come in the house. He said, "I'm okay right here." I told him we needed to go in the warm house and get a blanket. He didn't like it, but he let me help him get out of the car and in to the house. "Lordy, Lordy, Landlordy!!!" Susie

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Well, the Thanksgiving holiday is coming to a close. It has been really nice to sleep in, both for me and for my dad. I got a lot done as well. My friend, Pam, helped me decorate my Christmas tree last night and I finished most of my other decorations today. I don't go all out; just put a few sentimental things around. My Christmas tree is beautiful. It has lots of colored lights and it's loaded with ornaments. Dad enjoys sitting in his recliner and looking at it. He wasn't interested in helping us decorate it, though! I got his medicine ready for the week and his clothes ready for tomorrow. I just finished giving him a shower. It was so funny tonight. I decided not to wash his hair, so after I made sure he used soap on his face and then on his body and bottom, I sat in the bathroom and read the paper while he finished up. He would peek out around the curtain. I would say, "Are you finished?" He would say, "No, not yet." In just a minute, he would peek out again, and again I would say, "Are you ready to get out?" He would say, "No, not yet" or "Almost." I think he did that about 15 times before he was ready. After I got him to shave and brush his teeth, we sat at the bar for a while. I decided to have him go through the picture cards. He correctly named 44 out of 87 pictures. I noticed more difficulty with his word retrieval. He said corn for lettuce and band for bus. He said knife for pen and for scissors. He called cheese, ice cream and said transfire for firetruck. Some of the pictures he was not able to name last time, he could name, and vice versa. Last night, after I got Dad in bed, I took his blood sugar. I dispose the needle and strip in old medicine bottles. As I was doing that, the bottle fell over and the needles and strips hit the floor and went everywhere. I got down on the floor and was reaching under the bed and under the chair to get them all up. When I finished, I looked up and Dad was looking at me with this big smile on his face. He said, "Susie, what are you looking for?" It was so funny that I didn't even realize he had been wondering what on earth I was doing! Back to work tomorrow......... Susie

Thankful Heart

I'm thinking about Alzheimer's. I'm thinking about how my Dad's stage in this process is different from many and yet the same as most. Dad's progression with Alzheimer's is ever so slow. I think it has been so slow, that Dad has known he was getting Alzheimer's and knew what that process meant in many ways. I also believe that for my dad, he has always been a happy person, a true soul, a giver. I think it has made a difference in his disease. With medicine, he was brilliant because it never bothered him to say he didn't know something. And he always knew when he needed to know more. As I watch him each day, I see slight changes in all his abilities. His walk is much, much slower. It is a shuffle most of the time. He doesn't want to exert energy to do certain tasks, such as getting up out of his chair, or getting dressed, or even walking to the bathroom. He sits to eat, and eats way too fast, pocketing food in his cheeks. He does clean his mouth out, along with his teeth. He is less and less engaged with things around him; the books, newspaper and magazines. He drifts more and more to his recliner, and sleeps more and more. He has more episodes where he says things repetitively, such as "mini, mini, mini, mini, mini." He knows us less and less. But it also amazes me how brilliant my dad is with his Alzheimer's Disease. It's like he keeps hanging on in there, reaching us in every way he can. What a sad disease. What a sad, sad, disease. Our family is so fortunate that Dad is still happy and still tries to be happy. When things happen, like today, I was changing his depend in the bedroom and he started peeing on the floor, you just have to realize that this is part of that whole process. My mom went through lots of the process of Dad's dementia. I think back now about how it really wore on her. Dad use to take his truck over to his friend's houses. My mom loved it because it gave her a break! When Dad got to where he was having trouble getting home, Mom knew it was time for her to take his license. That was hard, not just for my dad, but also for my mom. I wish I had known to give my mom one day a week to care for Dad. Just a break. That's why I'm thankful this holiday season for my family and friends and all the support they give me as a caregiver..... Susie

Friday, November 26, 2010

I guess I've taken a respite from blogging! Our computer has still had some issues. Also, I've been busy with the Thanksgiving holidays and just needing to chill out. My back and neck has still been bothering me. I've decided it's stress! Really, I think some of the things I do, is having an effect on my back. When I think about it, I bend over a lot when I dress and undress Dad and when I change him and when I get him up from sitting and in and out of the car, etc. I'm going to get it checked out next week. We've had a good week. On Monday night, Simon played the guitar again at Mudbones. I took Dad and he enjoyed the crowd there. A friend of mine had her grandbaby there and brought him over to Dad. Dad's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. His smile was beaming as he sat and looked at the baby. He would say "ooooo, oooo, ahhhhh, ahhh," and raise and lower his eyebrows and laugh. It was precious. You could see a connection there with them, like going back in time for Dad. Right after my friend left the table, I said, "You liked that didn't you?" Dad said, "Liked what?" I said, "Liked seeing that baby!" Dad said, "What baby?" It's amazing. I ordered Dad a vegetable plate for supper. It was the 2nd anniversary party at Mudbones and a buffet was set up. After Dad ate, he kept trying to get up and walk toward the bar to get food. We had to keep stopping him. Once he got pretty determined to make it over there and kept trying to get by me. I decided it was time to take him home. It was a good thing because when we got in the car, I could smell him. He had a major poop! I changed him and cleaned him up when we got home. Peter kept Dad on Tuesday and David kept him Wednesday. I got some things done and started back going to yoga on Tuesday. Yea!! I hope it will help my back. On Wednesday, Dad went to Life Care and Zeb and I went to Boone to do some things. We got a Christmas tree on the way home. Later, we went to a party and had a great time. Simon picked up Dad at David's and Papaw sat while Van and I went to hear music at Barley's. We had a great Thanksgiving day yesterday. We went to Van's aunt's house at 1:00 and to Betsy's at 7:00. We took a short nap in between. We had a great visit with our families! Today we just hung out and relaxed. No shopping for me!!! A good friend, who used to stay with my Dad, came to visit us. She has moved to Kentucky. She helped us care for Dad for about a year and a half. It was great to see her! Hopefully, now that I have taken a little break from blogging, I can get back at it!!! Susie

November 21, 2010

Simon got our computer up and running this afternoon. I have had a really busy weekend. Zeb came home for the weekend and brought several friends from App with him. They were all racing in Hendersonville on Saturday and Sunday. I cooked dinner for everyone Friday and Saturday night. I feel like I've been cooking all weekend! We had a really good time and it was great to get to spend time with Zeb and his friends. Dad pretty much just hung out all weekend. He didn't interact much with everyone. He would respond to people but he usually sat in his chair. He said the Lord's Prayer for everyone last night. At the end, he said as usual, "Forever and ever and ever and ever... Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen.... It was great. I went to church after all the kids left. When I got home, Van had cleaned the kitchen - bless his heart! Right after I got home, I was putting clothes in the wash and heard Van yelling. Dad had gotten out of his chair and had walked to the front door and was peeing on the floor. I got him to the bathroom and helped Van clean it up. I fed Dad lunch and then he sat outside in the sun. After I finished a few chores, I went outside to sit with him. I've been so busy this weekend that I felt like I had not been able to spend much time with Dad. I clipped my nails and then his. While I was filing my nails, Dad asked, "Whose house is this?" I told him it was mine and Van's. He asked, "Who lives in that house?" I told him he and Van and Simon and I lived in the house. He said, "It's a nice house, how long have you had it?" He kept asking those same questions over and over. After supper, I got Dad in the shower. I have learned that I do much better when he knows nothing about it. I guess I almost trick him. I took him back to the bathroom and had him undress piece at a time. He seems to be so focused on what I'm asking him to do that he doesn't realize I'm getting him undressed for the shower. Once he's naked, I have him step in to the tub. He doesn't want to, but I have him feel the warm water and he ends up being okay with it! He took a good long shower and I washed his hair. I got him back in his chair and he's been saying some unusual things. He asked me to get him some ginger ale. He hasn't asked for ginger ale in ages. He kept asking Van about the football game, like who was playing. Then he would say, "Well, it doesn't matter anyway." Once he called out "Ann." He hasn't done that in quite a while either. I'm ready to get him in the bed. Thank heavens I only work two days this week. I'm looking forward to the Thanksgiving holiday!........ Susie

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Dad had an eye appointment yesterday afternoon. When I got to Life Care, he was sitting in a recliner with other folks all around. I asked if he was ready to go and he said, "Go where?" I said, "You have an appointment with the eye doctor." He said, "Oh hell." Everybody laughed. We walked out to the car and I opened the door for him and as usual he said, "Do I get in here?" As we started off, he asked again, "Where are we going?" I told him and he said, "Why are we going to the eye doctor?" I explained he had a place on his eye that was bothering him and the doctor was going to fix it. He said, "Bullsh*t". I thought, "Oh goodness, he is really full of himself today - no telling what will happen at the doctor's office!" We didn't wait for long to get in a room. The nurse asked us some questions and then said "The doctor will be in shortly." Dad said, "Who?" She repeated and Dad said, "What Dr.?" While we waited, Dad kept counting the numbers that lit up. He would say "123-456", 123-456, 123-456...." over and over. He got louder and then he whispered. Then he started picking up the instrument that has a light and he would try to turn it on. He would hold out his hand to see if it was shining. Then he would forget where he got it and hand it to me. I would show him where it went. A minute later, he would do the same thing again. Then he reached over to the light switches and turned the lights on and off. He would look over at me and smile. Lately, when he is waiting for something he will crease his pants up at the top of his thigh and press the crease over and over. After we saw the doctor and made an appointment for surgery, we walked toward the receptionist desk. He reached over and opened the case that holds the fire extinguisher. Someone stopped us in the waiting area and asked me if that was Dr. Lane. They were excited to see him and said he was a great doctor. After Dad and I got back in the car, Dad looked over at me and said, "Susie, thank you for everything you're doing." I couldn't believe it! I took out my paper and wrote it down......... Susie

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I picked Dad up at Life Care and we went to Mudbones for dinner. Simon was playing guitar and lots of friends and family came to cheer him on. Dad enjoyed being in the crowd. After he ate, Van took him to the bathroom to clean his teeth. We stayed for a couple of hours and then headed home. When we got home, I was going to have him put his pajamas on but he did not want to take off his fleece vest and he said he didn't want to change. I left him in his clothes, put on his house shoes and he sat in his recliner and watched Dancing with the Stars, which he likes. I got some things done around the house and decided to go to bed around 9:30. I went ahead and got him in bed. I got up twice during the night to change him and both times it was pretty easy. He got up readily this morning as well. Thank heavens! That does make things easier! Peter will be picking him up tonight for dinner. I have a hair appointment and my computer at home has crashed so I'm fixing to leave work and will have to share more tomorrow!..........Susie

Monday, November 15, 2010

Respite care is wonderful for caregivers. Although I didn't sleep well on Wednesday night, I did sleep better on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. The rest made me feel rejuvenated and we really enjoyed spending time with Zeb and seeing his bike races. He did great!!! Because his last race yesterday was at 2:30, Betsy picked Dad up at Black Mountain and took him to her house for dinner. She met us at our house around 7:30. Right after she and Dad came in, we were talking and Dad was sitting at the bar. I looked over and Dad had stood up and was unzipping his pants. I shouted, "What are you doing?" and Dad said, "I need to pee!" I grabbed him and said, "Let's go to the bathroom!" He said, "But I need to pee!" I took him in the bathroom and told him he needed to pee in the toilet. He did, but when he came out, the back of his pants were soaking wet. I took him back to my bathroom and also realized he had pooped. I could tell they probably had not been able to get him in the shower at Black Mountain. I got him undressed and to his dismay, in the shower. He took a good shower and I washed his hair and got him in his pajamas. Then he sat in his recliner. Betsy and I didn't even get to talk, because she had to leave. During the night, Dad got up four times. He used the bathroom a couple of times and I changed him twice. He never got real wet, which was good. Every time I got him back in bed and turned the lights out, he would say, "Turn those lights on!" But I didn't. The first time I tried to get him up this morning, he pulled the covers back over himself and said, "I'm not ready to get up." I went in a few minutes later and tried again and he got right up. He seems to be catching a bit of a cold as he was sneezing and blowing his nose a lot last night. I'm going to pick him up in a minute and take him to Mudbones for dinner. Simon is playing the guitar there again tonight. Hopefully, Dad will get back in his routine and sleep better tonight!!!! Susie

The Doctor's Waiting Room

Earlier, I made note of an incident that happened at a doctor's office in Marion. I think I need to preface the story by saying that many caregivers face times which are uncomfortable or embarrassing, but which are part of the dementia process. For my dad, something started right after my mom passed away. For several months, he kept using the p*ssy word. He would say he needed some p*ssy to caregivers or he would make comments out in public about it. There is nothing you can do! When the word comes out, you hope people don't hear it, or at least are not paying attention! With this episode, the time had really passed that Dad was using the word. But about a year ago, I took him to the doctor. We were sitting in the waiting area and I gave Dad a magazine to look at. He was reading the captions of all the pages, out loud, of course. People would look over at me and smile. This day we had to wait longer than usual, about 20 minutes. He was reading through his third magazine, saying things like, "GMC Terrain, seating for 5 adults." or "Reezig, the energy drink for your feet" and so on. At that moment, the door from the doctor's rooms opened and an elderly lady walked out and proceeded to the receptionist window. Dad looked up from his magazine and said aloud, "I wonder how her p*ssy looks!?" Well, I almost died! I wanted to slither under my chair. I looked at Dad with a cross look. He went right back to reading his magazine. Fortunately, he was called back to see the doctor right after that! What do you do? What can you do? Caregivers are dealing with this at different times. Fortunately, my dad hasn't used that word in a long time and I think it has left his repertoire! Now my dad really just says the same things in response to people and in greeting people. The only time he says unusual things is maybe when he is dreaming or right after he wakes up; then what he says often doesn't make sense. I think it's important for people to know that many caregivers are dealing with these kinds of situations and when people hear strange things such as this, they might remember this! Thanks!....Susie

Friday, November 12, 2010

Van, Simon and I are in Boone visiting Zeb. We will be here for the weekend to see his bike races tomorrow and Sunday. Dad has been at Black Mountain Neuromedical Center for a respite visit since Wednesday. Van took him up. When he asks Van where they are going, Van tells him that he's going to the Black Mountain Motel for a visit. Betsy is planning on picking Dad up on Sunday so we can stay for Zeb's race at 2:30. Since Dad was going to be gone, I decided to have a little drop in at my house on Wednesday. It was lots of fun, but I thought, "Why do I do this to myself?" I have a little time off and decide to work cooking and cleaning for a drop in! Just shoot me! Anyway, I've had this weird thing going on with my back and neck and headaches for a little over a week. I'm beginning to think it's a virus. On Wednesday night I thought it would really be nice to get a good night sleep. I wouldn't have to get up to change Dad and could sleep as late as I wanted. I turned off my cell phone alarms that I've been using to wake me at 1:00 and 3:00 to change Dad and my clock alarms that wake me in the morning at 5:30 and5:40. Well, my back hurt and I didn't sleep well. I kept waking up. I did stay in bed until almost 9:00. I got up and planned to do some things around the house. Then Zeb called with car trouble. I ended up spending some time with him and his roomate, Derek because he brought his car to Rutherfordton. We had lunch together. It was nice. I got a few things done in the afternoon. Then last night I had another headache and went to bed at 9:15. This morning I opened my eyes and it was getting light. I looked over at the clock and it was 6:45! I couldn't believe it! I had 15 minutes to leave for work! I had forgotten to turn my alarm back on! I didn't even take a shower. I pulled my hair back, threw on some makeup and headed out the door! I guess I got that hour of sleep I complained about not really getting! It is nice to have a few nights that I can sleep, or try to sleep through the night. It reminds me of when I had children and I never felt like I got a good night's sleep. I know Dad is being taken good care of and that makes me feel better. I'm looking forward to tomorrow and seeing Zeb's race.......... Susie

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Simon had a soccer banquet last night. I had a meeting after school and didn't get home until after 5:00. Our sitter picked up Dad at Life Care and brought him home. I got his sheets changed before I left. After the banquet, Van and Simon and I ran by Lowe's and Burke's Outlet. We got home around 9:00. Dad had done great while we were gone and was cozy in his recliner. When I told him it was time to go to bed, he said he just wanted to stay in his chair. I told him I had to go to sleep. He said, "You go ahead, I'm gonna stay right here." Often, I will tell him I need his help doing something and he will usually concede - which he did. I got him in bed at 10:00 and went to bed myself. I got up at 1:00 to change him. Evidently, he had pulled off his dry depend and had decided to sleep in the nude. His sheets were soaking through to the mattress cover. I had to pull everything off the bed. Dad kept trying to lay back down on the bed as I was changing it and I would have to tell him to get up. I got new sheets and covers on the bed and started washing the dirty ones. This morning I went to get him up and he said he wasn't ready to get up. I told him we had to get to work and he decided he would get up. He will be going back up to Black Mountain for a respite visit again tomorrow. We are planning to visit Zeb at Appalachian and watch his bike race this weekend. I have lots to do tonight to get his things ready. Hopefully, while he's gone I'll be able to fill in my blog with some other stories!!!! Susie

Sunday, November 7, 2010

I have some catching up to do! My sister, Marie, came last Wednesday from Dallas. My dear college friend, Maria, and her family came Friday and stayed the weekend. Everyone left today. We have had a great visit! Dad enjoyed seeing Marie and I know Marie enjoyed spending time with Dad. On Thursday, Peter invited us over for supper. I had a horrible headache, so I stayed home with Dad and Marie, Simon and Van went to Peter's house. After I fed Dad his supper, he was sitting at the bar. Marie had picked up some paint samples for me. The paint was in small, pint size plastic containers that had a handle and a plastic lid. They were sitting on the bar. The phone rang and I went over to sit on the couch and talk. When I walked back over to the bar to hang the phone up, Dad was screwing one of the paint lids back on the bottle. I looked at him and he had a light green circle around his mouth! I told him to stick out his tongue, and sure enough, it was covered in light green paint!! I couldn't believe it! I said, "Did you drink some of that?" and he said, "No!" (Bologna!!!) The bottle did say to call poison control, but I knew he had only taken a swallow. I called Van at Peter's house. I decided to give him a big glass of water, which he drank. My, my, my!! Simon picked Dad up at Life Care on Friday so that I could get groceries and come home to start supper. Marie and I got to walk down to the pond and spend some time together before everyone got home. Then I grilled hamburgers and made homemade French fries. We all ate together around the table and Dad said the Lord's Prayer for us. On Saturday, Simon stayed with Dad while Marie, Maria and I went to the flea market and few other sales. When we got back home, we ate lunch and did some things around the house. Once, I was making Dad's bed and when I went back in the living room, he wasn't in there. Maria thought he was in the bathroom. She had heard a horn blowing. We looked outside and he was sitting in Simon's car, blowing the horn. I went out and he said, "Where are the keys?" I told him Van had the keys. He said, "Where is he?" I told him Van was playing golf. He said, "Well, I guess I'll have to go later." Then I got him out of the car. Later, Simon and Marie told me he was telling them that he thought his time was up and he was ready to go. Another time, Simon went in his room and Dad told him he was looking for his keys. He was trying to open the china cabinet. After everyone went to bed last night, he kept getting up. Van or I would get him back in bed and a few minutes later, he would get up again. He finally stayed there! I made everyone a big breakfast this morning. After everyone left I did some washing and cleaning and then just hung out with Dad and watched a movie. I got him in the shower after dinner. He did pretty good. I just have to make sure he doesn't know the plan until he's mostly undressed. I washed his hair and told him to wash all his parts. Then he actually stayed in the shower for a while. Every time I asked if he was finished, he would say "almost." We got an extra hour last night, but unfortunately I didn't get it in sleep! I'm going to hit the sack!.......... Susie

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Peter picked up Dad at Life Care yesterday afternoon. Van and I ran some errands and ate dinner with friends. When Dad got home, he sat in his chair at first but then wanted to walk around the house. When I sat down on the couch, he decided he would sit down. We watched some TV and I fell asleep. I got him in bed at 10:30. I set my alarm to get up at 1:00 and 4:00 to change him. At 1:00, I went in and woke him up and told him I needed to change him. He said, "No, I don't need to." He was soaking wet. I told him he did need to. He pushed me away and kept trying to pull the covers over him. I told him he needed to stand up and change his pants and I would let him lay back down. It was a struggle back and forth. He was determined that I was not going to change him and that he was going to lie down and get the covers back on him. Out of frustration, I finally tore his depend on both sides and it fell off. Then I had to make him sit up so I could put another on him. At 4:00 I went in to change him again. I said, "Dad, I need you to stand up so we can change your pants. He did so with no trouble at all. We changed his depend and t-shirt and he laid back down and went right back to sleep. Go figure!!! He was a little ornery this morning, too. He didn't think he needed a new depend. I told him it was wet and he pulled it out to see. About that time he started peeing. The depend soaked it up. I got him washed up and changed. He went to the bathroom and washed his hands and brushed his hair. When he came to the bar, I had his juice and medicine ready. He said he didn't need his medicine. He kept counting his pills over and over. Van and I both told him to take them, and he kept saying, "No, not now" or "No, I don't need them." He finally took them. Marie came from Texas today. I picked Dad up at Life Care and went home to cook dinner. Peter also came over and we all had a great time with each other and with Dad. After dinner, Marie showed Dad lots of old pictures of him and his mother and grandparents. He would say, "That's ole Harold Compton" or "I don't know who that is." Marie will be staying with us for several days to spend some time with Dad..... Susie

Monday, November 1, 2010

We had an eventful evening! I picked Dad up at Life Care at 5:00 and we went to Spindale to Mudbones Restaurant. Simon was making his debut playing the guitar! Dad and I sat at the back table. Lots of friends came to hear Simon. It was a great time with great food. I got Dad a vegetable plate, as usual. He loves it. While we were waiting for his meal, my friend Meg came over to talk to us. We had Dad spell some words. He correctly spelled medical, pediatrician, aspirin, school, children, Rutherfordton, North Carolina, Duke University, Chapel Hill, pneumonia, California, spina bifida, meningitis, and Forest City. He spelled guitar - gitar and missed a syllable in Mississippi. He couldn't tell us the names of his children, but he did spell them when I told him. He could tell us his mother's name and spell it, but not his wife's name. He was not able to tell us his birthday, but did spell it when I told him. After he finished eating, Van took him to the bathroom so he wouldn't pull out his teeth and clean them off. Then he read the menu over and over. I moved a table behind him to talk to Tammy and Tim. We looked over and Dad had the barbecue sauce bottle, drinking from it! Then he got up and walked around. He stopped at the table where Van was sitting and picked up a beer and took a drink. I tell you, if it's in front of him, he will drink it or eat it! Simon moved to the bar stools to play for a while and Dad went up and sat next to him. He was really enjoying the music and being there. When I tried to get him to leave, he didn't want to. I got him up about 7:45 and we headed home. He didn't say anything on the ride home. I think he was worn out! When we pulled up to the house, I said, "We're home! Let's get out." He said, "I want to stay here." I told him we needed to go in the house and he told me he wasn't going to get out. I took my things in and let him stay outside for a few minutes. Then I went back out and told him it was going to get cold and he needed to come in. He let me help him get out of the car. I got him changed and in to his pajamas and gave him his medicine. He's now in his recliner in front of the TV, but probably sleeping! It's been quite a night!! Susie

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween! Dad and I had a relaxing weekend, not doing much at all. I did get lots of things done around the house. Friday morning I took Dad to Marion to his dermatologist. He asked several times where we were going and I kept telling him. We didn't have to wait long in the waiting area. (Sometime soon I'm going to write about what happened about a year ago in this waiting area!) Once we were in an examining room, Dad read the posters on the wall and continued to ask where we were and why. I got him a magazine to look at and that kept him occupied until the doctor came in. After his appointment, we headed back to Rutherfordton. I took him to Life Care and I went to work. I picked him up about 5:00. The nurse warned me that his blood sugar may be high because they had a Halloween party with treats. We took it easy Friday night and just hung out in front of the TV. Yesterday, Dad just wanted to lay around in his recliner. I tried to get him to do some things at the bar and to go outside for a while, but he kept migrating back to his recliner. The two of us watched some scary movies on TV last night. Dad didn't want to get up when I tried to get him in bed, but I finally convinced him. I've been changing Dad twice during the night. He's usually really wet the first change and not so much the second. This morning I heard Dad get up and when I went in his bedroom, I saw that he had peed on the side of the bed and on the floor. I took him to the bathroom to get him in the shower and realized his depend wasn't even wet. I guess he just got out of bed, turned around and peed right there in the floor! I pulled all the sheets and mattress covers off the bed and got them in the wash. Then I got ready and went to church. Today Dad has been up and around more. He read the paper through a number of times, sat outside for a good while and did some walking around the yard. I just got him in bed and sat down to type. He started saying, "I must a milk, I must a milk...." over and over. Then he said, "Susie, why don't you read that?" I'm heading to bed... don't let the goblins get you! Susie

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Every morning I go in to the kitchen around 6:15 to take my vitamins, make coffee and get my orange juice. I try not to wake Dad up because then I go put on my makeup. This morning, I heard Dad saying something in a whisper. I went to his door and heard him saying "diddle de do da, diddle de do da" over and over. After I get on my makeup, I go back to the kitchen and turn on the light. Often, that will either wake Dad up, or he will say something to me if he's awake. This morning he said, "Hey, Susie!" I said, "Good morning!" He reached his hand out to me and I shook it and then he pulled my hand to him and kissed it. He looked at me and said, "I love you, Susie." I said, "I love you, Dad." When I pulled the covers back, he had pulled off his bottoms and had pulled his t-shirt over his head so that it was around his neck and arms. I got him dressed and ready for the day. This afternoon, when I picked him up at Life Care, he was sleeping in a chair. I woke him and told him it was time to go home. He said, "I'm not ready to go home. I'm going to stay here a while." He was not going to budge. John came over and helped me get him up. Once he was up on his feet, he was happy and ready to do what we needed him to do. Tonight when it was time for bed, I woke him up and told him I was going to get him in bed. He said, "Lordy, Lordy, Lordy me mercy" and got right up. I had his hand and he pulled me to him and gave me a big hug. Bless his heart! Susie

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Weird weather we've had the past couple of days! Because of the storms, I shut my computer down last night and decided to keep it that way! Peter had picked up Dad and brought him home around 9. Thankfully it wasn't raining hard and he had no trouble getting Dad out of the car! Right after Dad got home, we realized he needed changing. I had him sit on the pot and took off his pants and depend. He has to have his shoes on, no matter what. So, I gave him his bedroom shoes to wear. After we got him cleaned up and changed, he watched some TV in his chair. When bedtime came, he did not want to get up. He kept saying, "I want to stay here." and "I'm not ready for bed." I hate to make him get in bed, but I was ready and he was sleeping in his chair. Again, it's that, "Don't make me move or do anything - I'm fine where I am" attitude! It took me, Van and Simon to get him up. Once he started walking he was fine. He went to the bathroom, and then I helped him brush his teeth. I got him comfortable and hit the sack myself. This morning, when I went in the kitchen and turned on the lights, Dad got up. He started walking toward the bathroom. He stopped at the bathroom door and looked around. I said, "What do you need?" He said, "I need some water." I said, "To drink?" He said, "No, to wash with." I said, "Do you want to take a shower? (Yeah, right!) and he said, "No, I want to go diving." I told him it was October and we would have to do that when it got warmer! Pretty wild! Van told me that the other morning when I was in the shower and Dad kept getting up that Van asked him what he needed and he said, "I'm looking for a place to lay down. Van said, "He kept getting up to find a place to lay down!" Funny. Funny. Funny.......... Susie

Scottie, Janice, Patti, and Tammy Wammy with Papaw and Zeb with Papaw at Tammy's 50th birthday party!!!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Our family has had a big weekend! We've been really busy but having a great time. I picked Dad up on Friday and Zeb picked up pizza for supper. My friend, Patti, came over and ate with us and Simon had a friend over. Then the boys left for the football game at Central. Dad and Van and I hung out and relaxed. Saturday was a whirlwind. We had Tammy Wammy's 50th birthday party here. I got up about 9 and Dad was still asleep. About 9:30, he was stirring and I asked if he was ready to get up. He said, "No, not yet." I waited about 15 minutes and went back in his bedroom and asked, "Are you gonna get up today?" He said, "No, I'm gonna lay here until it gets dark!" Then he laughed and laughed. I got him up and made him some bacon and eggs. Then I worked all day getting ready for the party, except to watch him and get his lunch. Once when I was yelling upstairs to Zeb, he kept saying "Okay, okay, okay, okay" as if I was talking to him. The party started at 4 and Simon watched him while we got things set up. I got him ready and took him down to the picnic area around 5:30. We had a covered dish supper. He sat and visited with everyone and really enjoyed himself. He ate and hung out for a while. We had a bonfire and he liked watching it. Zeb drove him back up to the house around 9:30. I went with them and got Dad in bed and Zeb stayed at the house with him, catching up on much needed sleep. It was a late night and Dad got up twice between 2 and 4. I turned off all the lights and he didn't get up again until this morning. Zeb and I had planned to go to church, but I ended up cooking a big breakfast and we have had a great family day relaxing and watching football. After Zeb left to go back to ASU, Van and Simon and I took Dad down to the pond. Dad was saying lots of things over and over. Once he said, "diddle do up 2, diddle do up 2....." Often when he says the same thing over and over he will start with a whisper, sort of under his breath, and then get louder and louder. While we sat at the pond, he did his usual spitting like he does when he's outside. I don't know what makes him what to spit over and over and over. He's sitting at the bar now, reading the paper. I think I'm going to get him in bed early so I can get in bed early too!!! Susie

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I picked Dad up at Life Care yesterday to take him to Dr. Glover. He keeps Dad's feet and toenails in good shape. Dad asked several times where we were going and I would tell him to the doctor. He would say, "What for?" and I would tell him to check his feet. He would raise his eyebrows, like "Is that necessary?" When we got to the doctor's office, we only had to wait a few minutes. When the nurse took us to the examining room, she asked Dad to take off his shoes. Of course he didn't want to. I helped him get his shoes and socks off and she went to get a sheet for him to put under his feet because he said, "Oooh, that's cold." While we waited a few minutes for Dr. Glover, Dad counted his toes several times, 1 -10 or 1-5, 1-5. Then he would look at me and laugh. Once, he said, "Put my shoes on." Another time he said, "Put my socks on." A couple of times he asked where we were. He looked out the window and said, "There's a lot of stuff out there." He did fine when Dr. Glover saw him but said "Ouch" a few times. On the way out to the car, he counted his steps - 45. I took him to David's house for dinner and Van and I left for Simon's soccer game. The game with Shelby went in to double overtime and stayed tied 1-1. We didn't get home until 10:00 and David met us at the house. I got Dad in bed and hit the sack because I was exhausted! This morning when I got Dad up, he fell back on the bed. He stood up again and started walking and almost fell sideways on the chair. I held on to him and he almost fell two more times walking to the bathroom. I was holding on to him as he was going to pee and he looked at me and said, "Okay, you don't have to stay." He came out of the bathroom on his own. I'm a bit worried about his difficulty with walking and balance, particularly when he first gets up. We'll have to watch him carefully. It was a quiet evening at home. Zeb is here for fall break and we had dinner together. Dad sat at the bar for a long time and then in his chair. I just got him in bed and as I turn and look at him he seems to be dreaming moving his hand in the air about something. I wonder what he dreams about........... Susie

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

After Dad had the episode last night with not being able to walk, he got up two times during the night! Both times he went to the bathroom and then I got him back in bed. The second time I changed him. While I was in the shower this morning, he also kept getting up and Van got him to lay back down. Van's mother came at 8:30 and we all left to take Dad to Life Care and then we headed up to Kanuga for a memorial service. My sister- in- law, Magi's, mother passed away. It was a beautiful service at an outdoor chapel. Peter picked up Dad today which was great because I had plans with some girlfriends to celebrate two retirements. Simon was home for Dad when Peter brought him in and I got here about 15 minutes later. Dad was awake and we watched part of a TV show. I got him up to get in bed and realized he needed to be changed. It was almost a shower poop, but we managed to get him clean. Again, I am blessed that Dad can still wipe himself and would prefer it. When I have to finish the job, he says, "Okay, that's enough." If I have to wipe him again, again he will say, "Okay, that's enough." I just got him in bed, got his things ready for tonight's change and for tomorrow morning. His blood sugar was okay. He was laying there saying Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen. I asked him if he wanted to say the Lord's Prayer. He said it with passion as he always does and finished with forever and ever and ever and ever and ever....... Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen. Susie

Monday, October 18, 2010

I'm back! I had a great long weekend with my friends with plenty of relaxation and much needed sleep! It was great! My sister Betsy picked up Dad at Black Mountain this morning and took him to Life Care. That gave me an extra night last night to unpack and get things ready for the week. Simon had a soccer game, so our sitter picked Dad up at Life Care and brought him home. We were suppose to be gone to the game, but Van got caught up in work and we left late. I got to see Dad before we left for about 40 minutes. He came in the house in a jolly mood, smiling the whole time. He sat at the bar with me, the sitter, and my niece, Leah. We were talking about how he responds differently to people asking "who" they are. If you ask him, "What's my name?" he'll respond, "Tammy Wammy" because my friend Tammy always asked Dad that. If you ask him, "Who am I?" he usually responds, "Leah" because that is one of his caregivers at Life Care and he has learned to respond that way. We asked him what my name was and he wasn't able to tell us. He did say all his children: "David, Katharine, Peter, Susie, Betsy, Marie." When we got home after the game, he was sitting in his recliner, smiling. We watched some TV with him while we waited on Leah's dad to come get her. Dad said, "mini, mini, mini, mini" over and over and then he said, "four eight, fort nine, four eight, fort nine" over and over. I asked if he was ready for bed and he said, "Not now." Later, I told him it was time for bed. I said, "I'll help you up." He stood up and began walking with me then started slumping over slowly. He seemed to want to move his legs, but he couldn't take a step. It was almost as if he was falling asleep mid-step. Van had to help me get him back to his chair. We got him back up and to his bedroom. He had on his shirt, jacket and pajama bottoms. It took some persuasion to get him to take off all his clothes and get changed before getting in the bed, but I accomplished it! As I covered him with his covers, he seemed to melt into the bed and showed his pleasure not only through his actions, but with his words...."thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.... Susie

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I was busy this afternoon getting ready for my trip. Peter picked up dad at Life Care. He brought him home about 9:00. It had started raining and when Peter brought Dad's things in, he said Dad wouldn't get out of the car. I told him I would get him out. I ran out and opened the door and said, "Dad, let's go in the house." He said, "No, I don't want to go in, I want to stay right here." I tried saying several things to get him out with no luck. By this time it was really raining. I said, "Dad, hurry. I'm getting wet. You've got to come in with me!" He said, "No, I'm not going anywhere! Close the door!" I ran back in the house and got the umbrella (duh) and Peter came back out with me. Together, we tried to get Dad to get out. He continued to refuse and it began to lightning and thunder. I thought, "Oh great, here we are with a lightning rod, trying to get Dad out of the car!" Spencer was driving and I got him to move the front passenger seat forward. We literally had to move Dad's legs, against his will, to get him half way out of the car. He finally stood up and I walked him in the house. When we got inside, I said, "Why wouldn't you get out of the car?" He said, "I don't know." I walked him to his room to get him undressed because the leg of his pants was soaked. He said, "Ooh, I'm wet." Then he said, "You're wet!" I wanted to say "NO S**T!" Lord, I need a break!! Van will be taking Dad to Black Mountain tomorrow and I am going to get that break! I am so excited! I was hoping to post some extras, but I only have one in drafts, so I'll post it and see you guys again on Sunday!! Susie

Daddy at the pond - October, 2010

Monday, October 11, 2010

I picked up Dad at Life Care this afternoon. When I said, "Let's go", he said, "Where are we going?" I told him Simon's soccer game and he decided to get right up. Since it was going to be such a beautiful day, I had planned to take him to the game. I figured it would be the last game of the season he would be able to attend. Next week our games are out of town and I'm afraid our last game home might be too cold. I fed him a little supper before we left. He sat in his chair for the whole game and enjoyed looking at all the people. He even seemed to be watching the players quite closely. When the game was over I told him it was time to go. He said, "Go where?" and I said, "Home." He said, "I'm not ready to go." I tried to tell him he was blocking the aisle, but he still didn't want to get up. I left him there for a few minutes and then tried again. This time I told him we were going to get something to eat. He still didn't want to get up, but decided he would. He walked slowly to the car, with me holding his arm and seemed a little unsteady. When we got home, I tried to get him to use the bathroom, but he said he didn't need to. I made him a plate of left over vegetables. He would take a bite and push the plate away, then take a bite and push the plate away. He only ate half of it and didn't want any more. I got him in his recliner after washing and brushing his teeth, which he also didn't want to do. He's been a little ornery this evening! I cleaned the kitchen and am about to relax a little before bed.... Susie

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I got up early this morning because I had to go to early church to do the "children's time." I got Dad up, put on his pajama bottoms and fed him breakfast. Van stayed home with him. I stayed late, because we had a covered dish lunch and my committee helped set up and clean up. When I got home, Dad was out in his swing. I did a few chores and then got Dad inside. We both napped for a while. We went back outside this afternoon and looked at the paper. After dinner, Dad got back in his recliner. I spent about an hour filling out paperwork for his respite care. I am leaving Wednesday for my annual trip with my two college buddies! They are both speech therapists. It is the twelfth year that we have gone to our cabin in the mountains. We have a ball. We talk, talk, talk and play cards and cook and eat and play! Dad will be going to the Black Mountain Neuromedical Center for respite care. The state run facility has a six bed unit for patients with Alzheimer's. It is really nice, with beautiful grounds. The people there are great. The patients have to meet certain criteria and then they can stay for up to 30 days during the course of a year. It's been a great way for our family to be able to take some vacations or just take a break from care-giving and know that Dad is being cared for. I'm planning on trying to post a few blogs before I go, since I won't be blogging for several days. I've wanted to tell a few stories and some things that mom dealt with and I thought it would be a good time for that! I just got Dad in bed. He didn't want to get out of his chair to get in bed tonight. Then he wasn't big on brushing his teeth. When I told him we needed to change his underwear, he said, "I'll just leave these on." I know how he feels sometimes! We have to make an effort to do lots of things!! I finally got him taken care of and he's laying in bed with his arms folded up behind his head, probably wondering what I'm doing on this computer!.............Susie

Better to give

I love my church. Our pastor, Ed, just donated a kidney to his brother-in-law. It has reminded all of us how much better it is, to give, than to receive. That's really how I feel about my dad. I give my time, and my energy (and sometimes my sanity!) to care for him. He cared for people his whole life. There was never a time he didn't care for other people and take care of other people. It didn't matter who you were or what was wrong with you, or if you could pay. He served with kind heart and gladness. He saved lives and made the world a better place. God has truly blessed me. My mom took care of Dad through the most difficult times. This is the easy part. Like I've said before, Alzheimer's is a cruel disease; more so to some than to others. I think about how brilliant Dad was. I have seen a slow, slow progression take away his ability to remember, reason, recognize, and relate. Yet God allows me to care for this man, who in spite of dementia, is still kind and happy. How lucky am I.

October 9, 2010

I picked Dad up at Life Care yesterday afternoon. My friend, Pam, came over and we took Dad down to the pond. We drove in my car and when we got there, Dad didn't want to get out. Pam opened the door and said, "Let's get out!" and Dad said, "I'll just stay here." and he closed the door. I opened it again and said, "Let's sit out by the pond." Dad closed the door again. It wasn't until the third time and I had to almost insist he get out. I think he was glad he did. Sometimes I think he just doesn't want to go to the trouble of doing something extra. It was so pretty!! Pam and I sat on the benches on the dock and I put a chair at the end of the dock for Dad to sit in. Right in front of Dad was the caution that Van has "engraved" in the wood, "6 feet, No Diving." Dad read it over and over and over. Then he would say something like, "Susie, it's 6 feet in there - no diving!" and he would laugh. As the sun started going down, it got cooler so I covered Dad with a blanket. He enjoyed that. Simon and some of his friends came down and hung out with us for a while, before they headed off to the Cleveland County Fair. Dad enjoyed watching them and of course, kept counting everybody. He asked several times where we were. I noticed him moving his chin up and down again and I wonder how long he's been doing that. Maybe I just haven't noticed it! After we had been there for a while, Dad said, "Susie, I'm ready to go." We got our stuff and headed back up to the house. While I grilled burgers, Pam gave Dad a spelling and math test. He correctly spelled: Rutherfordton, orange, North Carolina, medicine, Tylenol, pneumonia, Earth, Raleigh, aspirin, scoliosis, stomach, education, international, and knee. He made the following mistakes: Missippi, equasion, Sacromenta, auwsome, badmitton, botalism, and socker. He added 199 + 25, 9 + 8, 6+5+3+1, 100-29, 9x8, and 25 divided by 5 correctly! We slept in this morning. When I went to get Dad up, I pulled back his covers and he had taken off his depend and the bed was wet. I've spent the day washing sheets and clothes, cleaning and cooking. Dad spent a long time outside in his swing, looking at the paper and just hanging out. We're about to eat supper....... Susie

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I picked up Dad at Life Care today. On the way home he asked where we were going and as usual, I told him "home." He didn't say anything else on the ride home. I noticed he was moving his chin up and down with small movements, almost like chewing, but more like a tremor. He did it the entire trip home. He kept looking over, smiling at me. The weather was so pretty that I tried to get him to sit in his swing, but he wanted to go inside. I was only home long enough to get his medicine ready and write Simon a note about what to fix him for dinner. I had to get back to Spindale Elementary to help with the fall festival. Van got Dad to go out as I was leaving to sit on his swing and read the paper. Simon was on his way home from practice to keep Dad while I was gone. After I got home, we watched a TV show. When I got Dad up from his recliner to get in bed, I said, "Dad it's time to go to bed - let's get up." He immediately said "okay" and got up with no complaints. I led him to the bathroom and waited outside the door while he peed, and peed and peed. Often he will start and stop and start and stop. Then I went in to help him wash his hands and brush his teeth. I noticed that much of his pee didn't hit the toilet, but the floor around the toilet. I wiped it up, but will have to get it better in a minute. Dad seemed to have more trouble unbuttoning his shirt tonight and seemed a little frustrated. I just waited on him and smiled and he smiled back. He really enjoyed getting under the blankets. I checked his blood sugar, as always. When I tell him I need to check his blood sugar, he pulls out his hand and sticks out his finger. He usually sticks out his ring finger, but last night I had a little trouble getting blood out of that one, so tonight I stuck his middle finger. He does seem to be feeling lots better. Still a little cough, but definitely clearing up. He's already asleep......... Susie

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Simon had a soccer game last night and tonight. It's been two, long days. Our sitter kept Dad last night and David picked him up tonight. I'm really enjoying this cooler weather. Dad doesn't like the cold, though. I've been having him sleep in just his t-shirt and depend because it's so much easier to change him at night. I've put extra blankets on the bed and I hope that will do. Last night when I got up to change him, as soon as I pulled off his depend he immediately laid back down and covered up. I had to uncover him and get him to put on the new depend. When David brought Dad home tonight, I got him in his recliner, put on his house shoes, and covered him with a blanket. He looked over at me and said, "Thank you, Susie." He seemed to melt into his chair and the blanket. He fell asleep and talked a lot as he was dreaming. One time he said, "Pass the salt and pepper." He hasn't said that, even at a meal in forever! He also seemed to be carrying on a conversation with David in his sleep. I got him up to get in bed and he didn't resist at all. As I pulled him up, he clinched my hand tightly and held on tightly all the way to the bathroom. I had to make him let go when we got to the toilet. As I was getting him in bed, I said, "Take off your jacket." He said, "I'll just leave it on." I had to tell him he needed to get undressed to go to bed. Every time I told him to take something off, he would repeat me. I would say, "Take off your britches." He would say, "Take off my britches?" and I would say, "Take off your underwear." And he would say, "Take off my underwear?" He's already asleep and talking about something over here behind me. Van told me that this morning when he got Dad in the truck to take him to Life Care, he looked over and Daddy had his pants unzipped, ready to pee. Van had to make him stop and get out and pee. Lordy, Lordy...... Susie

Monday, October 4, 2010

I just got Dad in bed. I stayed home with him today. He has had a pretty good day. He didn't get up until almost 9 this morning. I got his medicine, juice and a bowl of Rice Krispies with bananas. After he ate breakfast, he sat at the bar all morning. He seemed to be more alert and his usual self. He looked through the paper and then I got his math cards for him. He looked at them for a while and then at some books. I made potato soup and he watched me chop garlic, onions, celery and potatoes. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was making potato soup. He didn't ask again. I fed him lunch about 12:45 and then I got him in his recliner. He slept for a couple of hours. While he was sleeping, his breathing was heavy and he seemed to be having dreams. He coughed some, but it did seem better today. He also used the bathroom in the toilet for the first time since Friday. Unfortunately for me, he pooped twice today, once this afternoon and again before I got him in bed. At least they weren't "shower" poops! Tonight, when we were watching TV, he looked over at me and said, "Susie, mannie, mannie, mannie, mannie, mannie, okay?" I said, "Okay." I will feel better about taking him back to Life Care tomorrow. Even though he's a little croupy and has some cough, he's feeling better and has been on his antibiotic for 2 days now. I took advantage of a day off work and got lots done around the house. I'm ready for bed! Susie

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Dad slept pretty good last night. It was later than usual when I got up to change him, almost 4:00. I slept so hard, I only heard him coughing a few times. He slept in until about 8:30. When I went to get him up, I noticed he had spit a lot of mucus into the top of his sheet. I fixed him breakfast and he ate well, but didn't seem to have much energy. He wanted to get in his chair, so I got him to recline and covered him with a fleece blanket. I was feeling better, but still a little weak. Van went to get Dad's antibiotic and we started it right away. I watched the Sunday morning TV shows that I never get to watch, because I'm usually at church. Then I washed sheets and did some housework and paperwork. I fixed Dad's lunch and when I got him up out of his chair, I could tell we needed to head to the bathroom. I realized yesterday that Dad had not used the bathroom in the toilet one time. I changed him several times and he needed it every time. Well today he had the major poop. I knew it was going to be one of those "shower" poops and with Dad not feeling well, I thought he probably was not going to want to get in the shower. I had him sit on the toilet and clean up as much as possible and then I had him follow me to our bathroom. He was already half way undressed, so that helped. When I got him completely undressed, I said, "Now step in the bathtub". He put his hand out to feel the water. I said, "I'll turn it on when you get in. Stand at the back of the tub." He said, "I don't need to get in there." I said, "Yes, you do. We need to wash the poop off your bottom." He didn't say anything after that and I helped him get in and I started the water. I gave him several rags, one at a time, and the soap. Then I had him wet his head and I shampooed it. I think he probably didn't feel well enough to argue with me! He ate lunch and then got back in his chair. He's been there all day, mostly sleeping and coughing on and off. I've decided to keep him home tomorrow. I hate to send him to Life Care with his rattly chest and cough and with him having just started his antibiotic. Hopefully, he'll be feeling better by tomorrow afternoon........ Susie

Saturday, October 2, 2010

My, my it's been quite a weekend already. I really have not been feeling well this week and after I got to work yesterday, I just felt draggy and my throat was killing me. Strep has been going around and the school nurse looked at my throat and told me she would try to get a culture. I called Dr. Kirkpatrick's office and she told me to come in. Well, I was positive for strep. I went back to school and got my things, stopped by the drug store and headed home. Van picked up Dad. I fixed him chicken noodle soup and a turkey sandwich for supper. When he was sitting in his chair last night, he kept saying strange things. Once he asked me if I had taken care of things at the funeral home. He also asked about other things that either didn't make sense or said things in which he couldn't finish his sentence. I got in bed as soon as I put Dad in bed, around 10. All during the night I heard Dad coughing and clearing his throat. I got up with him at 8 and fixed him some oatmeal. He was still coughing and croupy with a hoarse voice. He sat at the bar for about an hour and then sat in his recliner. I put a call in to his doctor. We both sat around all day, me feeling pretty achy and Dad sleeping most of the day. The doc called and decided to call him in an antibiotic. Betsy went to pick it up at CVS, but they said it hadn't been called in. I called the doc back and it had been called in, but by this time CVS was closed. I'll have to start Dad on it tomorrow. We just finished eating. I've noticed over the last couple of weeks that Dad has been pushing his plate or bowl away from him after every bite. Then he will pull it back and take another bite. He'll push it away, then pull it back for a bite and so on. I don't know why he's doing it, but it does make him slow down his eating, even if he makes more of a mess! I left him sitting at the bar but he just came in and squeezed the back of my neck and asked what I was doing. He laid down on his bed and he's repeating "mini, mini, mini, mini...." We both need a good night sleep and I hope he sleeps better tonight. I'll get his medicine tomorrow. Hopefully, my antibiotic will have me feeling better tomorrow too! Susie

Thursday, September 30, 2010

I picked up Dad at Life Care and we went to the high school to watch Simon's soccer game. Dad asked a couple of times where we were going and I told him Simon's soccer game. It was cool and cloudy and I had brought a coat for Dad. The first couple of times I asked him if he wanted to put it on, he said no. Then I saw him trying to cover up with it, so I helped him put on the coat. Then it started sprinkling on us and I went to the car to get an umbrella. Dad held the umbrella over himself and kept hitting me in the head with it and laughing. I had him seated as before, at the top of walkway that goes down the steps. At one point a pretty, young girl walked by Dad and he took his foot and gently tapped her on the bottom. She turned around and made light of it, being really friendly. As a matter of fact, she had been at student at Spindale Elementary, where I work, and recognized me and we spoke for a moment. I jokingly told her she had to watch out for Dad and when she walked by the next time, she was ready. At half time, I was passing out things to the parents and Dad got up and walked around and stood at the rail. When the game started back I got him back in his chair. He proceeded to count things such as the players on the field, the people sitting in front of him and the bulbs on the field lights. He asked several times what they were playing, but never realized we were there to watch Simon. He got up again and this time I walked with him around the bathrooms and concession stand. As we were walking, he put his hand through my arm and reached over and kissed me on the cheek, smiling. I decided he had had enough and we left the game about 15 minutes early. We came home and I got him dinner and did some work around the house. I just got him in bed and I'm ready to hit the sack myself........Susie