Thursday, September 30, 2010

I picked up Dad at Life Care and we went to the high school to watch Simon's soccer game. Dad asked a couple of times where we were going and I told him Simon's soccer game. It was cool and cloudy and I had brought a coat for Dad. The first couple of times I asked him if he wanted to put it on, he said no. Then I saw him trying to cover up with it, so I helped him put on the coat. Then it started sprinkling on us and I went to the car to get an umbrella. Dad held the umbrella over himself and kept hitting me in the head with it and laughing. I had him seated as before, at the top of walkway that goes down the steps. At one point a pretty, young girl walked by Dad and he took his foot and gently tapped her on the bottom. She turned around and made light of it, being really friendly. As a matter of fact, she had been at student at Spindale Elementary, where I work, and recognized me and we spoke for a moment. I jokingly told her she had to watch out for Dad and when she walked by the next time, she was ready. At half time, I was passing out things to the parents and Dad got up and walked around and stood at the rail. When the game started back I got him back in his chair. He proceeded to count things such as the players on the field, the people sitting in front of him and the bulbs on the field lights. He asked several times what they were playing, but never realized we were there to watch Simon. He got up again and this time I walked with him around the bathrooms and concession stand. As we were walking, he put his hand through my arm and reached over and kissed me on the cheek, smiling. I decided he had had enough and we left the game about 15 minutes early. We came home and I got him dinner and did some work around the house. I just got him in bed and I'm ready to hit the sack myself........Susie

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

David picked up Dad tonight, so I haven't seen him since this morning. I was in the kitchen making coffee and Dad got up and walked in the kitchen, wet "depend" hanging. He said, "I need to pee, where's the bathroom?" I showed him the bathroom, for the zillionth time. I got him ready for the day easily. It amazes me how many people have dealt with or are dealing with loved ones who suffer from dementia. Recently, several people have asked me my advice on their personal situations. Every situation is personal, and different. People with dementia present in so many varied paths and progressions. How we respond to them is our part of being caregivers. I always tell people that I believe the most important thing is to keep our loved one safe, comfortable, and at ease. The safe part is fairly easy. I do try to stay organized. I have a schedule for getting Dad's medicines ready for the week (Sunday nights) and I can call in any refills I need. I make sure things are not in his path, so that he won't trip and fall. I hold his hand when he walks and help him get up from sitting. We keep things lit so he can easily see (unless I have to turn off the lights to keep him in bed!) I take him to all his doctor appointments. Keeping him comfortable is a little harder, but definitely doable. I ask myself, "if this were me, what would I want?" He has always liked a certain type of shirt- button down, collar over a t-shirt and certain type of pants- khaki type- with a belt. Despite his stage of dementia, Dad can button and unbutton with no problem and zip his pants and put on his belt. When he's going to be at home, I keep him in pajama bottoms and house shoes, because that is what I would want. I think keeping our loved ones at ease is the hardest part. At times Dad can be so pleasant and easy going and at other times, he just doesn't seem to know what he wants. He sometimes asks questions or gets concerned about something, and again, I just try to answer with something that makes him feel everything is okay. Why not? Dad lives in the moment and I want that moment to be the best it can be. Sure, I get frustrated. I forget things I should have done. Sometimes I just cry. But this is my time to give, my time to take care of my dad.....Susie

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Peter kept Dad tonight and brought him to Legal Grounds, where I had finished having dinner with friends. On the way home, Dad was sort of whispering something over and over, like "shwus, shwus, shwus." I was talking on the phone and said, "335." Then Dad repeated over and over "335...335...335." Sometimes I wonder about his word repetitions. I think with dementia, it is one way someone can hang on to the present and maybe be a part of their surroundings. He didn't say another thing the entire ride, not even when we saw a police with a flashing blue light at the Hudlow/64 intersection. When we got home, Dad sat at the bar while I made sandwiches for the soccer team. He watched my every move as I spread mayo and mustard and put on turkey and then as I made egg salad and spread it on the sandwiches. He didn't say a word. He didn't even ask what I was doing and I made 30 sandwiches. Although he did look at me, raise his eyebrows, and smile. After I finished, he started looking at his books. When I got the kitchen cleaned, I took him to the bathroom and then got him ready for bed. He's behind me over here, doing that same whispering of the same thing over and over. I hope he sleeps well tonight. He was really active last night. He would sit at the bar, then get up and walk back toward the bedroom, then sit in his recliner, then get up and go to the bathroom, then sit at the bar, etc. He got up at midnight and I got him back in bed. Then I got up at 3 to check on him and change him. Good night.......Susie

Monday, September 27, 2010

Simon's soccer game got rained out today. I picked up Dad at Life Care. This was our conversation:

Me: Hey Daddy!

Dad: Hello!

Me: Are you ready to go?

Dad: Yea

Me: Let's go!

Dad: Wait just a minute.

Me: We need to go. We're blocking someone in.

Dad: Okay

Me: Tell everyone bye.

Dad: Bye

Dad: Is this your car?

Me: Yea, get in.

Dad: Get in here?

Me: Yea, get in and put your seatbelt on.

Dad: Where are we going?

Me: Home

Dad: Home. Home.

Dad: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.........28, 29 (He was counting the houses on Spindale Street.)

Me: What are you counting?

Dad: Oh... the roads.

Dad: Where are we going, home?

Me: Yep, we're almost there.

Dad: What road is this?

Me: Whitesides Road

Dad: Where are we going?

Me: Home. We're about to turn on Hudlow Road.

Dad: It's okay on the right. You got one coming.

Me: We're home! Let's get out.

Dad: You want me to get out?

Me: Yep, let's go in and cook dinner.

Dad gets out and hocks and spits all the way to the door. Thank heavens he doesn't spit inside except on his plate, in the sink, and in the toilet! Have a good evening!!! Susie

Sunday, September 26, 2010

It's been quite an eventful weekend for me. On Friday night, David picked up Dad and took him to hang out with some of his friends. I got together with some girlfriends for a little cover dish dinner. We had a great time. I got home just after David brought Dad home. Van and his friend Ben were here. Unfortunately, by about 10:00, I had a migraine headache. I got Dad in bed and then went to bed myself. We got up early Saturday to head for Boone to see Zeb's mountain bike races at App this weekend. Our sitter came and stayed with Dad all day Saturday, Saturday night and most of today. We had never seen the mountain bike races and they were pretty awesome. Zeb did great both days. Today he took 3rd in the cross-country race, which was three 7 mile loops through the woods at Beech Mountain. We got home about 3:00 and Dad was snoozing in his recliner. Simon laid on the couch and I laid on my bed and slept until 6:00. I really needed the sleep. Van cooked supper and when I gave Dad his plate, he said as he sometimes does, "Is this mine?" After he ate I got him up to go to the bathroom to clean his teeth. I had him take out both sets of dentures and I cleaned them with his toothbrush. When I handed him back his dentures, he said, "Are these mine?" You gotta laugh...... Susie

Me and Dad on his 88th birthday

Betsy and Simon with Dad on his birthday