Friday, September 3, 2010

Van picked up Dad today. I spent a couple of hours with a friend of mine. When I got home, Dad was sitting at the bar reading the newspaper. I said, "Hello, Dad!" No response. I said it again. No response. He just kept reading. When he got to the end of the small article, he looked up and said "Hi". It's like he has the opposite of ADHD! He doesn't like changing his focus! I heated up leftover vegetables from last night and fed him dinner. He ate at the bar, while I fixed a pizza for me and Van. Then I took him to the bathroom to brush his teeth. It's cute how when he looks in the mirror, he smiles at himself and raises his triangle eyebrows. Then he glances over at me and smiles. I hope if I ever have Alzheimer's Disease, I can look in the mirror and smile at myself! He's in his chair now, dozing. As I was eating dinner, I noticed Dad moving his hand like he was working on something. He does that when he's dreaming. Zeb just called. He's going to be racing at Virginia Tech this weekend. He's on the Appalachian Cycling Team and loves it. I hate that Van and I are not able to see more of his races. I know Zeb wishes we could be there too, but he also understands that keeping Dad was a family commitment and it involves all of us. Sometimes people tell me, "You're a saint!" or "There will be rewards for you!". I don't believe that. I believe some people can be caretakers, and others can't. Yes, I have compassion. But so do most people. I think everyone's compassions can be expressed in different ways. All of the caretakers, no matter whether they are in homes, or in adult day care centers, or in nursing homes, have tremendous compassion. Their jobs are greatly underrated! People who have their loved ones in nursing homes are still caretakers. They may not deal with things 24/7, but neither do I. My hope is that we will all realize the care our aging need and all be willing to to be a part of reaching out to them. I know that sounds mushy, but I believe it! I think it must be very difficult for a spouse to take care of their mate. I think back about the times mom went through when she took care of dad. She dealt with him losing his license, not wanting to take a bath for a week, asking for 4 drinks of Old Grand Dad instead of his usual 2 (everyday), him being lost at sea, and on and on. (Later I'll be sharing some of those stories with you!) For me, Harold is my dad. He also, I believe, understands that I am taking care of him. He seems to help me, in any way he can. We have our moments, but mostly he is relatively easy to care for. For now I'll close..... Susie

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I was so tired today that I came home from work and took about a 45 minute nap before I picked Dad up at LifeCare. On the way home from LifeCare, Dad asked three times, "Where are we going?" I thought back about how he use to ask that question at least twice that many times. When we got home, I started cooking supper and I put Dad to work stringing and snapping green beans. He's great at that. It's a task he will start and not stop until it's complete. Dad really likes to watch me cook. He will look intently as I chop vegetables or combine ingredients. Then he will smile at me and say "Very good, very good". Before dinner, I told Dad I was going to check his blood sugar. He stuck his finger out and kept it there until I went into his room, got the tester and returned to the kitchen. It was strange tonight, because after I pricked his finger and got the drop of blood, I gave him a tissue as usual. When I looked over I noticed he was pushing blood out of his finger and wiping it on the tissue over and over. I've never seen him do that before. I told him to go to the bathroom and wash his hands for dinner. I checked to make sure he did and when he came out of the bathroom he proceeded toward the kitchen. I said "Sit at the table." He kept walking toward me. I said several times, "Dad go sit at the table." He never did until I showed him where to sit. Just the two of us ate dinner together because Van was at the garden and Simon was at a volleyball game. After dinner, I had him get up and clean and brush his teeth. We watched Jeopardy together. He use to read some of the answers, but read only a couple tonight. He's now sitting in his chair watching football. I'll get him in bed about 9:30 tonight so I can get a good night sleep. It's been a long week and I'm still getting use to my school work schedule after our summer break! I'm looking forward to a relaxing Labor Day weekend..... Susie

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I'm blogging early again today because Peter has Dad and I'm going out to dinner with friends. Then I have a meeting at the church at 7. As I was getting Dad's bed ready for tonight, I thought about something that happened a couple of weeks ago. When I got Dad in the bed, he looked at me and said "This is a really good bed." I laughed and said, "Yep it is a really good bed!" It makes me think how little things like the comfort of a bed are important and so important that Dad would comment about it. He has always shown such pleasure in getting in bed and being cozy. I think back about how much Dad has changed in the past 17 months that he has been with us. We have a little pond on our property and Dad really enjoys spending time there. In March of 2009, Dad and I would walk down to the pond with Van and sometimes Zeb and Simon. Dad would always ask "How deep is this pond?" We would answer "6 feet". Then 10 seconds later Dad would ask "How deep is this pond?". And on and on. He literally asked that question 25 to 50 times, depending on how long we stayed. He would also comment about the sky, such as "It sure is a blue sky day" or "It's a beautiful day, a beautiful day..." or "There are a few clouds in the sky, but it's a nice day". Now Dad doesn't comment as much or as often. On those days back then, Dad would also walk back up to the house. It is quite a good walk, mostly uphill. Now it's hard for Dad to walk down to the pond, much less back up to the house. We drive him now and often he doesn't even want to get out of the car. I end up getting him out and he enjoys himself. Now that the weather is getting cooler, I'm sure we'll spend more time there after work. Thanks for reading and for your comments........ Susie

Monday, August 30, 2010

I wanted to blog early today because I'm leaving shortly to go to Simon's soccer game in Asheville. This soccer season, we have someone who will pick up Dad from LifeCare on Mondays and keep him until we get home. Tonight we will probably be fairly late. I make sure he has supper to heat up, his medicine is out, and his bed is ready for him to get in. This morning was fairly easy getting him ready for the day. As I walked in to the kitchen at 6:30, he was already awake and he asked, "Susie, what are you doing?" I said "Getting you up so I can go to work!" He assisted me in dressing him and then I sent him to the bathroom to use the bathroom, brush his hair, and wash his hands. Of course, I have to check to make sure each task is completed. I won't see him again until we get home from the game. We have games on Mondays and Wednesdays. My brother David picks Dad up from LifeCare on Wednesdays. He and his wife fix supper for Dad and bring him home around 8:30 - 9:00. My brother Peter gets Dad on Tuesdays and does the same thing. It's a big help to me to know that I can get other things done those nights and I don't have to worry about fixing Dad's dinner. My sister Betsy also helps out when I call on her at other times. I think it's really important to have that support and I'm really lucky that I have three siblings who live in town. Dad's lucky too! My other big support, of course, is Van and Simon. When Van and I want to go out and do something, Simon is our PawPaw sitter. He does a great job and it's a good way for him to make some extra cash! He usually has a friend over and I think they have a good time with Dad. They keep Dad busy at the kitchen bar drawing pictures, spelling words, working math problems and sometimes playing Black Jack. Gotta leave for the game..... Susie

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Dad got up at 7:45 this morning. I can always hear him because when he starts toward the bathroom, he begins hocking and then spits into the toilet. I waited for him to use the bathroom and made him wash his hands. We came back to his room and I changed his Depend and helped him put on a clean t-shirt and pajama bottoms. On the weekends I have Dad wear cotton leisure pants and house shoes because if it were me, that's what I would want to wear! I asked if he wanted to get up or lay back down and he said he wanted to lay down. Thank heavens. I needed the extra sleep. We had company last night for dinner and I didn't get to bed until about midnight. I laid back down and almost fell asleep when I heard Dad again. It was 8:15 and he was ready to get up. I made him some rice krispies with peaches. I did lay back down briefly, but Van was up getting ready to go help with a river cleanup. I missed church today and stayed home all day with Dad, just the two of us. Dad spent some of his time out on his swing, looking at the paper. He spent some time at the kitchen bar, looking through books and math cards. The rest of the time he spent in his recliner, occasionally looking at the television. More and more often, Dad is becoming resistant to getting up for anything, including eating. When I told him supper was ready, he said he wasn't ready to eat. It was really that he didn't want take the effort to get up and move to the table. I usually tell him what we're having and that helps. After each meal, we have Dad get up from the table and go to the bathroom to wash his teeth. If we don't he will take out his teeth at the table and proceed to suck the food from them. He is always resistant to get up from the table, but again we say things like "You have food on your teeth" or "We need to walk over here" or "Let's walk outside". Also, if Dad doesn't clean his teeth, he continues to spit and spit and spit. Once this afternoon Dad came in to my bedroom as I was ironing. He patted me on the back and reached over and kissed my cheek. It's amazing how far away he sometimes seems when he has no memories to connect to us. But for a second I can look into his sparkling little diamond eyes and see him there.

Day 1

Well, finally! Here I go. It's really been hard to get to the point where I actually sat down and decided to begin my first blog. I want it to be a commitment and my plan is to blog at least five times a week. I wondered if I really had the time and the energy to do it! Last week I went back to work at Spindale Elementary after having my summer off. I'm getting up again at 5:40am and I'm exhausted. I already know that this year with Dad is going to be different from last year. Even though Dad walks and performs most motor activities, he is definitely slowing down at everything - except eating. He eats too fast. He pockets food in his jaw and keeps putting food in his mouth even when it's full. He doesn't like it if we try to get him to slow down. I have to portion his food because he would eat anything put in front of him. Tuesday night Dad refused to let me change him during the night. When I went in to get him up at 6:30, his Depend was lying on the floor by the bed. I pulled the covers back to find him in only a teeshirt. Of course the bed was soaking wet. I got him up and had him wash up and put his clothes on for the day. I walked briefly down the hall to put his dirty clothes in the washer and when I returned, there was Dad, back in the bed. The soaking wet bed. My goodness. I had to get him up to redress him with clean clothes. Thank heavens Van came in at that point to help out. This year I will be leaving the house at 7:00am to get to work. Van will take Dad to LifeCare - the adult daycare where Dad stays from about 8:00 to 5:00. We have our challenges, but we also have laughs and wonderful memories..... Susie